A Letter Of Apology

My Dear Daughter,
                                The day when you receive this letter, I may not be there besides you. In my life, I made a couple of wrong decisions, that made it miserable for me to live. And one of the biggest mistake was... leaving you and your mother when you were just 2 months old. I know that you have the right to be angry with me for whatever I had done. I didn't just took away a father's love from you. I'm also equally responsible to take away your precious smile, away from you.
                                                                                                   
                                      I can't predict your reaction while you go through this letter, but I'm pretty sure that once you complete reading it, all things will be clearer. I worked as a Junior Supervisor in a Multi National Company. My boss was very proud of me as I did complete my target on time. And even my boss used to visit our home for dinner, as your mother cooks the best food in the world !
                                        
                                            Your mother was somehow unhappy from my boss's behavior. The way he looked at her. We always had a quarrel regarding this scenario. But I always used to neglect the topic with some excuse. But that negligence from me, completely changed our lives.
                                                                                                         
                                                               It was 28th June 1995, around 3'o clock in the midnight when the door bell rang! It didn't ring once, twice or thrice, but in a series, multiple times. I was really tired due to work load the day before, so your mom went to open the door. Suddenly I could hear a THUD! sound which opened up my sleep. When I came in the hallway I could see blood stains all over the floor. While trailing the stains I could see my boss lying on the floor, flooded top to bottom with red blood. I asked your mom, "what happened? Why did you kill my boss?" At first there was no response, but suddenly after a great pause your mother came close to me and started crying.
                                                                                                       The way she started describing me the whole scenario gave me chills . She told me ," As soon as I opened the door, your boss first stared me with a very strange way, and when I asked him what's the matter? Why up so late? He took out a sharp knife from his pocket in a rush trying to stab me! But I grab hold of his beer bottle and slammed it on his head, leading to his bloody death." I couldn't just speak anything else. I called up the nearest police station, and described them the whole scene. But the only difference was, the person who slammed the bottle was me, not your mother.
                                                                                               
                                         While leaving the house, I could see a sense of anger and confusion on your mom's face. She was trying to stop me with her gleaming eyes but, that was of no use. I was sentenced life imprisonment for killing my boss. But I didn't cry at all, as I was happy that your mother was there for you. As you were since 2 months old at that time, so instead of a father you needed care and love from a mother more. That day I saw your mother one last time. The look in her eyes was enough to tell me about her heartbreak. Because of me all this happened, neither I did invite my boss for dinner nor would I be the cause for your mother's heartbreak.
               
                                                                    I didn’t think I would ever fall in love again. I know that everyone says that after a heartbreak, but the difference is that I’m not heartbroken. I’m not cynical, or pessimistic, or sad. I’m just someone who once felt something bigger than anything else I’d ever felt and when I lost it, I honestly believed I would never have that again. But... I was 22 then and life is long. And I’m feeling things right now that I haven’t in a long, long time. 
        
                                                                                                                                                                  I didn't look back again. I asked her to find someone else who would keep her happy. But she didn't as she was 2 months pregnant. I know all this story sounds strange but, this is the truth that all happened. I know you may be sitting next to your Dad and Mom's grave, tear drops pouring out from your eyes. But my dear daughter always remember one thing that your Dad loved you more than your Mom.
 
Love from,
DAD.