Toxic Mind

The weekend, those two days that are preferred by almost everyone that no one wants Monday to come. I know you can relate to that daily struggle. In our world, there is always ones that are spoiled and others that we tend to ignore and dislike; that applies even to week days.
I always hated Monday like everyone else did. The last weekend was too enjoyable that I hated Monday even more and didn't want it to come.
What was different about this specific weekend? Well everything was. 
The last Weekends of both October and November were all kind of exceptional. A lot of memories to keep and to remember. But who knew that spending a single weekend at home would out best them. Spending time with special people makes even the most boring situations and days special and better. I always preferred spending time with friends or family rather than spending it with a partner. That is the main reason i failed, sucked and turned back on too many relationships. I always thought they are stupid and a waste of time. All these hypocrites going around expressing their fake love and emotions to their partners. Though that I knew a couple of friends who I thought loved their partners and did not want to cheat on them despite the distance. Some of them proved me wrong and some proved me right.
The last years, there was a trend that you may know by "Friends with Benefits" or "Just Friends". Many of us had, will have or still have that. This phenomenon is just similar to fake relationships, they both have one purpose, which is up to you to figure it out. Even this trend does seem better than fake relationships if you see it from a different perspective. Friends with benefits both seek self-enjoyment and that is their purpose with this called "Relation". On the other hand, fake ones lack honesty and filled with exploitation.
"We live, we breathe, we hope, we bleed, we love, we lose, we die". 
What a damn cycle to follow.
Ugh!! Wasn’t I speaking about my last weekend?
Damn I always keep on losing track of what I'm writing about. I should work on that more often.
You slept in my arms for a moment, and what a moment that was. A moment that is worth a thousand minutes. Felt great at first, but ended up fucking me apart. Me and that toxic mind of mine.
Many of my acquaintances advised me to not think too much. Well actually they told me to not think at all, I was just making it look nicer.
How much I hate being told to stop being pessimistic. What’s there to like? What’s there?
Only thoughts scattered all around the place. Thoughts in my living room, thoughts in the café next door, thoughts in the neighbors’ house while fighting or yelling at their sons or having sex, thoughts in my bedroom, oh no wait those are laundries.
I hate how my mood changes in a fraction of seconds. Those anger issues of mine, fighting the desire and urge to punch. I’m supposed to not even have time to think about other stuff, but still I do.
Maybe I'm dumb, maybe I've got a wicked mind. But none of that mattered since I've already lost all of my senses.
The only thing keeping me alive is because Sarcasm's page keeps reminding me to breath.