Breeched in a berth with miss universe

     Despite the confession that countless entry forms got submitted via a plethora of screen names (no matter only one per household allowed), me name got randomly chosen in an online contest. I would be taking an extended cruise (accompanied with a veritable stranger) to some unknown tropical island.
     After traipsing along the gangplank into the immense general headquarters (where other passengers could be seen and heard milling about), I stood into a conga line that appeared to be briskly snaking forward.
     Once reaching the handsome, efficient clerk he got down to brass tacks asking pertinent question. After rattling off satisfactory feedback, yours truly listened and watched where said official cordially guided accommodations.
     Thence upon being directed to the location of that particular suite correlating with my boarding passing, I gingerly crossed an expanse of greensward (one ecological trademark trapping incorporating one natural boat tan nickel feature emblematic of this ocean liner, my eyes performed a sweeping glance of the Spartan earthen work quarters essentially set aside for a penniless folk like meself.
     A quick study found the onboard residence that matched the receipt stub.
Ah…just room enough for one to relax.
     No matter the cramped quarters, any number of accoutrements availed the occupant. What with build in gizmo to sustain a gentle pendulous swinging motion, the hammock appeared most inviting
     Just on the verge and ready to doze off, the door handle jiggled. Then the entire solid oak door got wrenched from ironclad hinges.
     Right before thine bleary eyes, a well-chiseled female body builder entered the room. This extremely well toned, muscle bound female version of Atlas shrugging his shoulders found me to sit bolt upright, whereby frightful thoughts conjured an immediate facsimile of this wimp becoming pureed into pate vaguely resembling dog chow.
     Perhaps, an option would be offered to enable this puny fellow to choose posing as a fountainhead amidst the plump cupids that donned the many balustrades.
     Okay even feigning emulating a gargoyle would be acceptable!
Impossible not to stare at this marble hued muscular woman whose muscles rippled when she casually flexed even one pinky.
     At once, the notion to close lids suddenly seemed less apropos.
     Unsure if this skinny guy would be flicked overboard without even the chance to twitter a SOS.
     Despite feeling utterly exhausted from completing a grueling confidential government contractual mission, the aery whim to enjoy luxuriating on the deck of this transoceanic vessel, I tried to keep sleepiness at bay.
     Meanwhile angry birds could be heard screeching overhead as if conspiring to undermine any book marked thread to sleep.
     Although intimidated before this bronzed beauty queen (whose shadow weighed more then me), this wiry hot male sauntered over to the bedazzling body builder lest she consider me a yahoo.
With outstretched, hand as an accustomed overture to initiate conversation fingers nearly crushed by blithe grip from this iron maiden. She possessed steely strength with barely any effort.
     “You must be a fitness buff”! I emphatically stated the obvious.
     Her feminine response caught me off guard.
     “Yes”! Further elaboration took place as camaraderie began to emerge.
     “As a scrawny geeky lass” whose gaze immediately turned to my direction “nobody would dare bully a gal able to wrestle a gorilla.
     Despite rib cage locked and difficulty to swallow, i managed to wrench words that sounded somewhat bland. “How many years did bench pressing, curling, heavy weight lifting occupy your time?”
     “As the youngest girl of football sized brothers, the interest at self defense and art of body sculpting arose soon about the same time first steps got taken.”
     When nonchalantly blurting out being only eighteen years old, an extreme effort required to keep orbs from popping out of their sockets and jaw from dropping to the floor.
     I pretended this bit of information to cause barely a ripple.
While in a momentary trance, this armored Brutus likened golden gal soothed any tension by offering a massage.
     A feeble nod of assent accompanied a minor concern that no bone would be left intact.
Once her claw like flanges smoothed out every last kink, I wanted to divorce my wife and marry this marvel of physical prowess ASAP!