Dear my anonymous lover...

It’s a letter story!! 

Dear Michelle,   September 13, 2016

I would text, but you don't text back to girls like me. You just screenshot the conversation and send it to people in the school to unleash a world of embarrassment. I would've called, you wouldn't pick up. I’d talk to you in person, but talking to you is like talking to everyone at once. I’d rather be anonymous then known. You bully girls like me , than just say it’s a joke. When that girl killed herself over your joke, you laugh. I decided you for this letter, since someone like me can't talk in any other way. So why not do what I do best , write. Maybe you already figured me out, or not. Now this isn’t about you anymore, I need you to read what I have to say. I don’t have a lot of time, I am going to die soon. I can't tell you when cause it's a surprise for me too. But I can tell you why. Hopefully you made a good choice and you're actually reading this. It started three years ago when I was in seventh grade. For someone like me a perfect life isn't real, but you wouldn't know that. Why? Because that  you had the perfect life .Well mine... was a nightmare made in hell. I had an alcoholic father, neglective mother, brother who ignored me, and a grandmother who was down stairs and believed anyone's word but mine.     
My childhood had great moments. Those little burst of happiness, sadly it was mostly a misery. This day September 13th, 2016, when it was 3 years ago on September 13th, 2013,  that's when  this nightmare became permanent. I don't think now I’ve woken up yet. He was my stepfather,  as drunk as he was I still want to spend time with him.  That was the biggest mistake, sitting there watching TV with him. After a while he started complaining again,  it was different this time. It was about marriage, how the sex wasn't good as it used to be and things aren't the same. How you can't get a hooker or that's cheating and can't even look at a girl, or that's cheating. Then finally stopped, that’s when I decided it was time to go get ready for bed. So I took a shower.  when I got out I was in Nothing but a robe, the bathroom was  right in between our rooms.  It wasn't hard to miss me when I got out of the bathroom.
 It all started with the hand gesture to come here,  I try to pretend like I Didn't see it then I turned around and walked in my room. Then he said “psst, come here.” He told me to move my hands that were wrapped around my body, like a self hug. So I did, that’s when he tried to undo my tie in my robe. I was so surprised I couldn’t even move or speak. He was having trouble, that's when he said “ get this robe open I can't do it”,  I replied “ what are you doing, what the hell, no.” His face instantly went into a big ball of anger. That's when he grabbed me and forcefully told me to shush.  still holding onto my arm, he sat me down next to him. Sitting next to him, my heart couldn't be any faster.  I was completely scared. That's when his hands rough and cold moved up my leg.  It started from my calf to my thy. I just watched his hand move closer and closer up. I was able to say stop. Then he grabbed me tighter and pulled me closer and said “  we're just having a little fun, relax, don't worry.”  My mother downstairs in the kitchen hearing loud thuds on the ceiling downstairs. She came to the bottom of the steps and yelled “  is everything okay up there?” He covered my mouth and grab me tight that I couldn't even move or struggle.  Then he replied “ oh you know the regular wrestling around.”  she believed him, and walked away.  Tears from my eyes falling onto his hands.
 He was covering my mouth holding me  while knowing that I didn't want to be there. He was mad that I cried,  he didn't want to feel like he was  pedophile. He was done,  so he sent me off to bed, then my mom yells about food.  I went to the bottom of steps. I took my food to my room, but I threw it away. Eating was the last thing I could ever think of. It was sad because I was already taking medications that made it hard to eat,  and starving  myself that night wasn't the answer.  How could I eat,  knowing that my life became a nightmare. The eating Habit never stopped, neither what he kept doing. The eating habits it was bad, but it stayed the same just not eating. What he kept doing it did change, it  got worse. He did unbelievable things to me. The only  way out was through my dreams,  even then I still see him.  now I don't get sleep at all,  I had no Escape. At that point the only way out was through death. That's all I can share for today. If  you wish to talk more,  you know the abandoned Locker in our school,  leave your letter in there and I'll take it. 
Sincerely your an anonymous writer 

Dear my anonymous writer,   september 15, 2016

I almost didn't write back. I also, almost threw out this letter.  Your honesty made me keep reading, I respect that about you. Maybe we aren't different as you think we are. I may be popular in school. My life isn't perfect either. Not as dark as yours, sorry about your past.  I have so many questions?  Like, Why didn't you get help?  why not tell your mom? Or especially why out of all people you chose me? Why now? I know you told me in the letter before your reasoning about writing a letter to me, but seriously there has to be another reason. My parents constantly cheat on each other and pretend I don't know.  They think by keeping it a secret from me it's going to stop it from traumatizing me or some crap like that.  honestly I couldn't even care any less, but from them doing that they're neglecting me like crazy. That's why they think giving me money is just going to make everything better,  like they're buying my love. Honestly, I don’t know why I told you about that. Or why I’m even writing back. Maybe you will believe me, not like anyone else who thinks at least having money is still lucky. I will find who you are. I won’t let you die, I promise. Hopefully you aren’t a nobody like this girl I know. Whats her name ummm, oh I know “Sarah”. Last week she got in my way and spilled her strawberry smoothy on me. Than I had to go home early. I walk around like that, “ewww.” She complained about her stupid poems, so I teared them up. LOL, TTYL girl. 
Sincerely Michelle

Dear michelle,  September 17, 2016

We won't ever meet, you hear me! Your such a Narcissistic BITCH. You think your life is so hard, well it's not. But of course you have to make everything about you. I’m sorry, I would've written a new letter, I don't enough time. I LOVE YOU! There i said it . It may seem sudden, I’ve always had feelings for you. After I saw you kissing that girl at the party I thought I might have a chance with you. Or maybe it was just you were drunk, maybe not. You could've opened up your true feelings. How could you be so rude to girls like me. So what if we're nobodies, at least we aren't fake. If you really cared than you would look on the walls of one hundred poems. My poem is there, If you do find me kiss me. I can answer all your questions then. I have to go now bye. 

Sincerely anonymous writer. 

Dear  Anonymous writer,  september 20, 2016

I won’t be writing back after this. Just who do you think you are! You really need to grow up. Get the help you need and stop this bullshit. You can’t keep feeling sorry for yourself, I won’t feel sorry for you either. You wanna die do it cause I can’t. I was drunk, you're a real pervert for watching. I’m not gay. You need to go back to loser village or face me in person. You are one of those people who think just because you had a harder past, other people's problems are less now. Good bye. 

Sincerely michelle

Sarah .m, september 30, 2016

It's been awhile since I written, Honestly there's no point in writing this. Cause you know, you're dead. When I realized you got my letter I felt bad, because I know I’m Stubborn. I do have feeling for you, your the only person who's really honest with me. Sadly on september 24, 2016, you’ve been dead for two days. I didn't even know it was you. Until I went to the poem wall, I was looking for you. I wanted to give you that kiss. When I found the same handwriting, you had to put “anonymous” at the bottom. So I had to go to our ela teacher Mr.brown. Lets just say the conversation didn't go well. He started with lashing out on me for even asking who you were. Then he burst out in tears, and I comfort him and asked again. He just said “why?” I said “ because I love her.” When he froze I already knew it was bad news. Then he held my shoulder and my hand and said “she's dead, her name was sarah michelson.” I just kept blaming myself, until I past out. He visit me in the hospital the next day, since I had to spend the night. He gave me your poems, thought maybe as a thing to help cope with your death. What I was really surprised about was when your mother had visit me. I told about the letters and apologised instantly. She stopped me and said “there was no need”. She told me there was a missing letter from the story, you hid this letter. She gave me the letter and left the room.
 You wrote how thankful you were what I said, it inspired you to live. How you were gonna stop being depressed and how you'd tell the world the truth. You also answered my question, how you only told your mom, she made sure he wasn’t in your life. That wasn't enough, he eventually came back, I’m sorry. That must of been horrifying. It started with him stalking you, than it gradually became him texting and finally he started calling you. That's why you didn't have enough time, you were rushing this letter for me. You think he found out you told your mom? I always wonder what made him know. I then stop reading this letter to talk to your mother before she left. She was sitting outside. I asked her “how did he killed you?” She told me in tears, how it looked like it was suicide at first because that you were hanging from a nose. But when they examined you, your neck showed different marks the rope couldn’t make. As if you was strangled, there were purple marks like handprints, on the front part of your neck . They tested for fingerprints. It came back positive and confirmed it was your stepfather. After the note was found it was definitely confirmed. Not to mention the back door was broken into.  He was arrested, charged life in jail. As for me, I went to your funeral today. It was sad. I promise to leave letters at your grave every month. Love you always my anonymous lover. 
Sincerely michelle 
Ps. I took the abandon locker and made it like new, you know the one we traded letters in. It helps so I’ll never forget you.