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Dentist Recommended Cigarette

Dentist Recommended Cigarette

Life getting you down? need that tiny something that will help you get through today? You tried every other brand and it killed you Am I right? Well have I got news for you Golden sun has come out with a new brand of ciggerettes Available today! They whiten your teeth and make you healthier and live longer. But you cant buy them in stores You can only get them online @ www.fuckmylife.gov Thats right we are goverment funded and supported You are probably asking yourself how can this be real Well ill tell you Our cigarettes are made with only the purest quantity of cocaine and virgin blood Thats right you heard me correctly Good ol fashion slave grown and picked cocaine The stuff america and third world countries is built on Thats how you know it's top quality when you buy it. Your probably asking yourself how can such a great deal even exist and how could I possibly afford such a top brand cigarette Well ill tell you these ciggerettes can be yours with just 5 easy payment of Your neglected and abused soul Thats right just give us your soul, and it can be yours today Don't have a soul? Well then we'll just take your house your wife and children and trade them off to slavery Because you wernt thinking of them anyway the last time you puffed on one of these cancer sticks. Rememeber the last time you sent little johnny to the corner to pick you up a pack of them good ol Marlboro and told him to buy some candy with the change? Well suprise suprise he didnt instead he was kidnapped raped and also sold into slavery make the brands today you know and love, hows it feel knowing your just paying the checks of the people keeping your family in chains? Now your asking yourself I have a son named johnny? NO Because your smoking shrivled up your ball sack so much you can't get it up to please your wife anymore. STill interested? (Smoking causes cancer, enables child abuse, and promotes slavery , please read all warning labels before deciding to smoke)

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Comments

author
BLOSSOM

Brilliant Tim, so full of twists and turns I didn't know where you were going next.  So entertaining and cleverly written, but of course not forgetting the serious message underlying. Black humour to the max, great job!  A big vote and nom from me:)

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author
Carey Milton

Tim...

This is the shit!!

I have never been more engrossed in a story I've read on here before...Witty..funny..unique..Gold!

Smiled through the whole kit and caboodle!!  Big Vote and fave here..well done!

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author
Tim Holtman

I wrote this because I am currently going through the agonizing process of quitting ciggerettes, it keeps making me sick to do something that only creates an illusion of making things better, and each time I fail at quitting gets harder and harder and my withdraw worse and worse, so I figured this time id have some fun with my misery by belaying the facts.

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author
Tim Holtman

Thanks iman z
(Side note 666 profile views im taking the number back)wooo hooo

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author
Tim Holtman

I try to share with the people here(my school) and every time it gets shoved down my throat, yet as a educator I refuse to give up.

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author
Julie Nicholson

Yea, smoking is a bitch.  Switch to nicotine gum for 13 yrs hooked.  Now after 30 plus years of nicotine coursing through my veins clean going on 6 months.  No more pesticide for me.  That is what is really use for too.

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author
Tim Holtman

Thank all of you so much for helping me break 1000 again

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author
BLOSSOM

CONGRATULATIONS TIM, A GREAT ORIGINAL WRITE, A WORTHY WINNER:)

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mrsmaedche

BLAH (Not for your poem. Call it emotional throw-up.) Talk about my childhood. I remember being sent to go get cigs and having a quarter leftover to get "something nice." Emotional whirlwind with how you wrote this. I like it. A lot.

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author
Tim Holtman

Runs around in ciricles with smoke trailing out the back Wooooohoooo

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author
Tim Holtman

Though......it is april fools today......please dont let this be a joke

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author
Carey Milton

Haha Big Congrats to you Tim!!!

You deserve the win my friend..As I said before this was my definate fave!

WELL DONE! x:)

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author
Curious Onlooker

This was too perfect I'm at a loss for words, you definitely earned the win great job!

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author
Tim Holtman

Thank you all for your support it really helps

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