Sex Education

Sex Education

Nine year old's, are very impressionable.  I learned a lot of things, at age nine   One being frogs do not like to live in jam jars,  another being the moon is a boring place.  I was scolded by my father for showing little interest in one small step for man being a giant leap for mankind.  I remember the afternoon it appeared on the television,  I was messing about with my sister and brother and Dad was yelling.."this is history in the making"..rather angrily at us. The Commander of the Appolo 11 Space mission to the moon had spoken those immortal words, and we continued messing about much to the dismay of my father.  I looked at the television and said,  "that's not real..it looks like a cartoon"  My father looked in horror at me, as if I had said our Lord Jesus was a bastard.  It wasn't till years later a lot of cookies began to crumble, whether or not.  Another thing I learned is something I wish I never had.  The ins and outs of a penis, as the age of nine, did I really need to be taught this in school.
Sex education to school children must have been, a pioneering project for out teacher.  I must add, I did not like him, from day one.  I saw him with his feet up on the desk smoking a cigarette in class, I saw him through the window.  Every time the sun shone slightly through the cloud..we had to don our PE kit and play rounders on the grass outside.  I am NOT a sporty person, it does not entertain my brain.  This teacher, loved sport.  He loved it so much he selected particular girls and gave them extra tutition.  I know this as I saw him bringing girls home in his car who lived over the road from me.  I viewed him with suspicion.  
His first downfall was, misjudging me.  My grades dropped in his class for straight A to lower than B, even C- and my mother asked me what I was doing in school.  I was actually silently gutted by the marks this man had given me, and I did not understand why.  My reading which was always brilliant had been marked below C.  How did this man know how well my reading was, when he had never actually heard me read ?  I went up to his desk with my report in my hand as said " can you please explain how you can grade me this low, and you have never actually heard me read ?"  from behind his shitty newspaper which he dropped like it was alight he viewed me..with a look of ' she just caught me with my finger in the pie' swiped across his face.  " have I not heard you read ?!"
"no, you have not, so how can you mark me on it ?!"
" oh well, you shall have to read to me"..subsequently my grades went up..my academic grade increased..but his grade stayed the same in my eyes.  He did not like me.  When he got bored with his work..he used to halt the class, and select three pupils, his favourite pupils to sing, or dance or read in front of the whole class.. and then praise them with ultimate praise.  This I did not like.  I felt not pretty enough, not clever enough and not being able to sing enough to make the grade, and I knew I could not alter being pretty or change my voice, but as for being clever..he was not even interested in that department.
If you recall back in that time, and probably now, school children were herded into groups, Busli, Benedict, or simple colours.  I was in Team Yellow.  The colour of bile.  I don't think it instilled a thrill of team work in me.  Maybe if I had chosen the colour myself, which would have been Teal, Tyrian Purple or Woad it may have caught my imagination, however Yellow did nothing to inspire.  One occasion I was in deficit of 10,000 team points.  I was minus ten thousand points as I failed in a question fired at me by Mr. Goggle Eyes.  Mr. Goggle Eyes had a wife who was also a teacher, a music teacher.  We had been using her class room for some reason and a personal item of hers had gone missing.  Such was the justice system in my sacred school of education, we were all made to answer mathematical questions in rotation until the culprit was named or he/she owned up to the crime..which obviously he thought we had done..Spartacus..where are you..?  will real slim shady please stand up..please stand up  and if we failed, we would lose up to ten thousand team points.  He fired like an automatic machine gun from one child to the next , stoked by his utter loathing of children and lack of empathy for the phsycological disturbance he could cause in a child's mind.  I failed one stupid mathematical question of irrelevance  and was cut down.  It doesn't exist..team points..it does not exist...I never HAD ten thousand team points..so how could I lose them..I never had them, but I had to stand up and say to the bile coloured Yellow Team that I had nonchalantly lost them ten thousand points in a oner.  
 One of his brain waves was Sex Education.  Which obviously was not the normal sort of lesson.  This man decided it was going to be on the curriculum and he made all the necessary legal adjustments to be able to teach us kiddies what he thought we need to know.  For starters he had to visit our parents and get them to sign a disclaimer, or an authorization in order to instuct us with the vital information he held...sex education.
We sat, and learned, not in awe..about Vaginas and Penis's, we learned about how babies are made, and the actual act of copulation.  It was drawn in huge graphs and put on the black board as large as the geography maps of the world.  I was beginning to think this was a bit like the Apollo 11 mission to the moon,  does this thing concern me ? is it real..it seems a million miles away from my small person at age 9.  We  had special books which, we drew breasts and bollocks in.  Well now comes my forte, now you will see what a fantastic drawer I am, and I was.  I could draw very lifelike penis's and breasts.  I began to excel at last there was something that, I may get praise and recognition for.  He praised me..he said my drawings were the best, and I got to draw them on the main blackboard in his moment of fame bestowed upon me.  So there I had it.  But it didn't stop there, I decided to draw them on the walls in the playground.  To draw them in little books I made, naked men's parts and women's breasts.  I even quite inventively drew a man and a woman with paper clothes on that you could remove to see body parts, like huge penis's and vagana's with pubic hair that went on till doomsday.  It was then that I received the wrath of the ages. . . from this man.
it was then that, something was not quite right in the institution of learning.
it was then that I began to think, and to be shown. I had done something wrong
Who has done this terrible thing ? was the question.  Who had drawn these things on the school wall ? who had been so bad as to draw such filth ?
And me being the honest girl who did not accidentally ring the fire bell and got lectured about the boy who cried wolf stuck her hand up and said  
" it was me Sir, it was me, I drew those fucking penis's ok !!"
There was a meeting.
I, was interviewed by this man, alone in the Staff Staff room.
Can you imagine, the fright of a small girl like myself, under the umbrella of education I was being rained down on, for..no fault of my own.  I was asked questions that, I did not know the meaning of then, I was asked about my parents.  I was asked about my beloved father.  And I was scared inside. . I was scared of this man, this horrible man with his sex education smelly cigarette fingers and his goggle eyes, his attention to children, but only specific children.  But worse than that, the seed of disgust had been planted, even before anything sexual ever awoke in a young girls body. I hated myself from the inside, as I was bad. I had drawn penis's and that must make me bad.  Did he ever realise how this would affect me later, in the normal development of sexual behaviour. Did that shit ever even think what he did.  I probably foiled his plan to launch a pioneering new strategy  within the Education Curriculum, it was probably being monitored by a Nottingham Education Authority as to how well he performed,  and I ruined it.  Selfish arrogant man.  I did not wish to ever see a penis again in my life, ever, even if they were not all pricks like him.
To my horror, that Christmas this man suggested we play spin the bottle in class, spin the bottle..spin the bottle..! you sit in a circle and spin the bottle, the person it lands on if its a boy and a girl had to kiss..Why ?  Why ? and he was a candidate.  We were made to stand in the corridor, and wait.  The bottle fell on me .  I went outside,  and you can imagine my absolute joy to see him come through the door.  I knew that would happen, as I waited in the stark dank Dettol smelling void..him with his goggle eyes.  
" now I am only going to kiss you on the cheek "
feel where women freeze comes from..do you see the layer of ice form. it's still there.
69 was a giant leap for mankind, it was my circumcision also a good year..paint it black
and pop it on the shelf next to my fake school reports and a huge drawing of a dick.