Endless Pain.

So lately I've been living in the worst chapter of my life. The past two years I've lost many people close to my heart. 

I just feel that theres nothing more to live for , ofcours i want to follow my dreams and achieve all of my goals in life.

But all of these bad memories and thoughts have been holding me back.

I lost my best friend , my sister & the most dearest person in my life , my ex lover. The only man whom stayed with me no matter how hard things got , i mean we created the most beautiful memories that i just cant forget about. I keep those memories locked up in my heart and replay them in my mind.

Its been hard because all i can think about is how he use to hold me...i remember every single detail. Im a girl , i remember this kind of stuff. They ment the world to me. I just cant move on , im still inlove with him. Im not afraid to say It , i love him. And i still love him more each day. My mind is ready to move on but those memories in my heart just dont want to let go of him... i really want to but , how do you let go of someone whom you love unconditionally. 

Its the worst feeling ever to know that we will never be the same again , for many nights i cried myself to sleep. Its the worst thing ever , because the next day i pretend that it never happend and carry on with what has to be done that day. 

Theres just a few things i would like to say since i cant open up to you , maybe there will be someone out there reading this and might relate to how im feeling.

Here it goes...

I miss you , i wish that i could hold my best friend in my arms again , and not Care about anything. I wish i could sit in front of you and tell you about how my life has been and tell you about all the goals ive set for myself to accomplish. I just want to tell you how misrable my life has been without you and how i cant be happy with anybody else because they're not you... its been almost a year now and i miss you , dearly. I wish i could lay on your chest and listen to you heart beating... i remember how that use to relax me. I really miss you , nobody will ever compare to you , you were suppose to be my infinite love , i will never forget you or talk bad about you behind your back because you dont deserve that , you never did anything to me , we just drifted apart. I remeber everything , and its hard keeping it all to myself. 

Thank you for the times we had together. They were honestly the most amazing memories i have ever made With anyone. I will never forget the day we first met , our first kiss and the first time we said I Love You to eachother.

You will never be forgotten you might not be in my arms but , you will forever be in my heart. I Love You , and that will remain.