Eternal pain
My child so small so sweet so young smiling daily happy loving a joy . Slowly I watch things change but can't see what's wrong. Your good at hiding your feelings, I taught you well. Life goes on with an uneasy feeling . You were 6 and something had turned your world upside down . Questions asked but no answers come . Months pass watching you turn into an opposite .. I'm your mother I love you trust me speak to me tell me what bothers you . Your fine you say and cut me off mid motion and carry on with what occupies you . Years pass your school work suffers please tell me why you don't care any more you turn your back on meĀ
another year passes a friend asks how's the kids they're ok I say not wanting to chat about why I question your behaviour you've stopped hugging me and I don't see you smile much no friends call for you .do you have any please tell me you do I couldn't bare you being that lonely Ā
its New Year's Eve your birthday finally an adult in British law your going out with your sister to another town I'm worried but want you to enjoy your time on such an auspicious day to be turning 18 ... the clock strikes 12 an unknown caller maybe you've ran of of credit borrowed a phone to wish me cheer . I don't recognise the voice Ā . Your daughter is drunk they say is she ok I ask Ā !they reply she wants to tell you something . Oh she loves me and happy new year and see you soon ?? No they say she says she an adult now so no one can tell her what to do and she must tell me now or she never will .. my heart sinks I knew this day would come and she would let me be her mum again .. as I listened to the call that would change my life forever and explain my daughters life slowly suffocate her I wanted to die why didn't I know I'm her mother I'd warned her of these things. You must tell me off you must tell me about I'm here for you I believe you . Well a six year old knows fear and dread told them if you do tell this will occur if you call anyone this will happen they believe that is real Ā Ā I know you know what I'm saying you don't need details I'm not giving details because I live everyday with them sleep depravation torture on my mind ways to destroy that persons life eat me from the inside out four and half years sentence my daughter will never be released from her nightmare my family were given a life sentence but were free to live with our pain you wake and see the sun we wake with blackness the devil will take you one day and you will burn in hell your sins are unforgivable and I hope I hear you scream because then I may smileĀ
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