Hello My Unknown Friend...

    Finding love can be a daunting experience even for a seasoned adult male, and being full of love is even less the prerequisite for finding it. I stumbled onto a site claiming talk for free, so I joined, and saw for the first time beautiful professional women in wanting for love. Up to then I had never experienced Passion's poison, nor the power of women in black. When one seeks love, it's the ambush of whoever for whatever, that can make that experience a living nightmare.
     I must admit, I can be a dumb dumb, when it comes to filling out paper work for a simple site for finding love. So I wrote as best I could following the items of requested info, and when I had done what was asked I joined the site for free. The free prospects of beautiful women, and my being able to meet and greet without money was too good to be true. But amid my many faults, I have this unbelievable desire to be honest that it has become my nemesis. It was not long before I came to realize it was not for free and my joy of prospects turned into a free fall of misunderstandings. Somewhere between not wanting to be dishonest about my intentions, and being desperate to find a beauty that could live with my personality, a feat that seemed somewhat challenging in a massive World, I ended my profile. But I kept getting, emails from women who still being left with the shadow of my face, kept calling out to me in my email-box and thus harassed me in my sleep.  What can be so bad, I will join again, but this time I will be honest and up front and let them know I am broke and I am looking for love too.
     I went to reopen my profile and had problems, so I opened a new profile, and began with a poetic brief about my need for love. I was touched by my own brief, I felt if I were a woman, I could full in love with me. What I did not realize was, because i had signed up under two separate names, a flag would be raised and my troubles only begun. Women would write to me and I would respond with "hi...I am broke, but I too am looking for love, let me write you for free so you can get to know me...no...you can't write me, cause i have no money...", now I must admit as I write this, a chuckle comes to my own face to think that this is what I did, but it's true, every word. To make matters worst, I would terrorize women with free smiles, for in my own mind, because I could not reach them by an open letter from them, allowing them their time to express to me, because a smile was free, i sent them sometimes 3 up to seven at a time. They saw seven smiles in their email box from me, and an unopened letter in their view from me, and I felt I was off to a great start.
     Then to my amazement, a women in black, sent me a smile, her picture sent me into a tale spin immediately, she was all woman and her years spoke full adult with divorce to prove it. By this time, I was at least six hundred women deep with an average 5 credits to open any of their letters and some went up as high as 18 credits with a credit equaling a dollar. This woman only needed 2 credits to have a talk with, and my drawling began in earnest. She stole my sleep, she demanded space on my phone, and drove me out to look for a job, something I had vowed not to do. Now before you judge me, let me explain the job thing. I believe a job is poison to a man with goals and desires for World travel. But this woman, stole all that for a talk, I had to have her and was willing to die trying. It took me a lifetime to find her, and what was the odds that when i did, it would only cost me 2 credits, how accommodating must life be to a bushman before he steps up to the plate and says thank you. So I set my sights on her and again, by this time my spill was perfected, and off I ran to conquer this beauty. "Lady I am a poor guy, with two divorces, both leaving me for other man, and here I am in another Country where I don't speak the language, I came here to marry, but she don't want me cause I'm broke. Now how more honest can a man get then that. After posting a smile in my inbox she left the letter sitting there unopened. I was sick as I steered at the letter day after day, and her smile drove me almost to pan handle just to credit up to step up my shot at this beauty. Then when I would almost die, she opened the letter and read every word. If I could have kissed life, that would have been one of the days I would have kissed it twice.  She wrote back, "Hi nj...My Unknown Friend...Im glad..." I could not open her letter, to see these most prize words, I sunk in despair.  
     I did everything I could do to reach this lady that darkened my shadow in a black all her own. Then it happened, I won in a writing contest, I wanted to see how good my writing ability really was, for i had people making me feel they loved my writings, so I pushed myself to write on a stupid subject and see if the people would like it. It was a bold move, but I'm nate jones, I keep bold in my back pocket just encase.  So I thought how about a story about a stupid Rock. This has to be hard to sell, and if I can pull this off, I have to be good, for no one can write a story about a rock and sell the story. So I wrote a simple story about a rock, and would you believe it won me $30 bucks that was put into my pay pal account. Money, money money, I had money now I can open that beauty's letter. I went to open my pay pal, and it was in Dutch, I dont speak Dutch, Im a christian, and I almost cursed. No!!! i did not, but I saw my own dark heart and wondered what effect this woman was having on me, and so far it was not good. I humbled my heart and asked God for forgiveness, and all but gave up, when the thought came to just go to my account and just take the money out using one site from another. It went without a hitch. There was $20 taking from my pay pal, and 10 wonderful credits was sitting in my account where my hopes for love never had been brighter.
     Digging up through all the many profiles, looking from my strawberry ice-cream folder, I found her, and looked up the amount of credits needed to talk to her, and when I saw 1.75 credits, daylight broke through to my soul. Down from 2 credits this woman not only didn't have anyone seeking after her it seemed, there was now a discount to try. I looked up to heaven and smiled. Now let me say right here, this woman did not need make up, she was 40 years old and she knew better, she had a shape that gave being a woman first prize, and from the back she told all virgins to just shut up. So trembling, I wrote to her and push the send button and waited and waited and waited, then waited some more. It was strange, for her ad said she was punctual, kind, trustful, passionate, honest, open, sincere, SENSUAL, creative, try to always be on time, because she says she is reliable, a caring woman, who is ready to help. I looked at her ad, and looked at my letter which turned into letters, and realize that I had been punked. Why I say I was played, as long as I had credit, this woman would not write me a letter as if she was waiting for me to be out of credit before she made her move. I got tired of waiting and plus I wanted to see if my hunch was right about her. So there was another beauty I had been talking to, and she cost a whopping 6.5 credits, now you all just shut your mouths, you know im broke. When I opened the letter from the lovely lady, all she said to me was she had a bad night and awoke to the sound of many alarms that sent her to work without sleep, that she would try and get to sleep early that day and write me again another time. No, I did not feel like cursing, but I was not happy, and would you believe a letter came to me in my inbox from your Black grace. She knew I was out of money and credit, and there it was, "Hi NJ, my unknown friend...just wanted to s......". no, it was real and it was happening to a man that was desperate to find love.
     I had been in a tale spin from the start looking for love and finding her only to be jumped from behind, and whacked for stupid honesty. My being honest has been my dawn fault from day one, if it's not hitting a woman in her breast by mistake and standing there stupid, not knowing what my next move should be, it sets me up as a sex criminal for who in their right mind would panic over something so slight, yet I will and I do. I walked in to my doom somewhere after the profile invite and the honesty attack. For me, finding love has been a daunting experience, and when passion turns to poison all it took was a woman in black on a mission with power, to ambush me and make my love experience a living nightmare. 
     She had to be one of the owners of the site or somewhere close to the top, and came after me for my mishandling of the women in the site. I'm not going to lie, I broke a tear, for all I ever wanted was to be honest, and here I was, treated as the worst case love criminal on a site promoting love as it's base. No, I don't fault her, and no, I can't blame her either. For in the end, she is trustful and passionate, creative and sincere about kicking butt if she sees you as a threat. I have found that if you are over 50, and seeking love, bring your 'A' game, cause sexy women may sport skirts, but what they pack behind words, is more then enough to take your breath away. Yup, I'm still broke as a joke, and live with a good friend I would have married if i wasn't broke, but there, even if I got money, there are no do overs with me, if I'm not good enough for you being broke, lets just be friends and keep it simple...
nj