His girls ch. 2

I woke up sweating and rolled up in my sheets thrashing around. After some deep breaths, I finally calmed myself down and assured myself it truly was just a dream. There was no way she had come back, just simply no way. I told myself this as I wiped away the hot tears that had managed to leak out. I got up needing some ice water but of course, I had to be careful because goodness knows what would happen if I had to see my dad or bimbo at this time of night when I'm too exhausted to keep my mouth in check. I slowly walk across the landing of our upstairs towards the stairs holding on to anything and everything as my eyes haven't adjusted to the light yet and I'm deathly afraid of falling down the stairs at night. Finally, I make it to the kitchen and then I kick the dishwasher door that is for some reason lowered, it makes a loud bang. I freeze up as if someone was there in the room and my sound alerted them and being as still as possible is the only way to not let them see me. When I have deemed that the world is still intact and the ringing in my ears stops. I continue my journey to the cupboard and finally get my water and quench my thirst and head back to my warm bed to finally get some much-needed sleep. 

The next morning I wake up to a bright light shining in my eyes. confused I grab the covers and pull them over my head. I never had to deal with this problem because I had bought some heavy blinds, and then it clicked. I groaned and rolled over and right as I began to drift off to sleep my bedroom door slams open and there in the doorway stood a young child no older than three. Right after her comes my father he's smiling as he scoops her up trying to be quiet and playful, until he looks over and sees me sitting up in bed staring at him. And although the morning is early the wheels are turning and conviction is in my eyes. He slowly sets her down and sends her back to wherever she was playing before and he slowly walks into the room. I look at him and ask my feelings dripping into my sentence as I cruelly say "is she yours?" with more venom than I'd meant to. But I can't help it, knowing from her size there's no way she was conceived before he and my mom divorced. That's the worst part of this entire thing, I'm not even mad he didn't tell me about her. The only thing I can think of is that he betrayed mom and then instead of fixing his marriage he just started over.  And I think what makes me the angriest, is the fact that mom no matter how long it takes her, she can move on and get a new boyfriend. She can find someone to treat her better to love her and stay faithful, and if she wanted to, she could never even communicate in the slightest with him. But for me, I don't get another father, I don't get to meet someone and get to know them and then decide that I want them to be my father like she could with a relationship. No, I am stuck with him and I have to talk to him because that was my grandma's one thing she asked of me this summer. She said "Kid, he done messed up and he messed up bad. But that's my boy there and he doesn't show it, but he's hurting inside and you're the one original family member he's got right now and you're his daughter. If you stopped talking to him altogether, well that would just break his heart I know it." It was sweet and I agreed because I love my grandma, but of course, I also realized that even though she "loved her boy" she wasn't willing to talk to him herself quite yet.
"..please?" I looked up to find my father staring at me his eyes glistening with unshed tears as I shook myself from my reverie and felt like a jerk as I said: "come again?". He took a deep breath and said, "yes but I swear I was going to tell you I just hadn't gottent he chance yet.." I looked at him with disgust and finally broke.