Private revenge

As she walks into the bathroom and shuts the door she takes in her red puffy eyes swollen from crying after this past argument with her family. She always hated the way it made her look when she had truly cried, not just a twisted ankle shed some tears sort of cry, but the kind of cry where her chin would quiver in a week and pathetic manner and she would say the hard things out loud. No, she did not like the look of a real cry because not only did she no longer look like a normal teenage girl but it showed how much pain she was truly in. She takes the time to look at her stomach, the way it puffs way out just before going back in and turning into her wide and stretch marked thighs covered in stray hairs escaping the razor and little red bumps that she seemed to inherit from her father. She looks at the familiar sight and practices sucking in her gut, just to look at what could have been or hopefully what could be. She finally steps into the shower and turns on the water standing on her tip toes as she gets in as she hasn't turned on the shower head and the low bath spout is issuing out very hot water, she turns the water to a better temperature and grabs the showerhead from the hook, she points it away as the first spray is always icy and cold then she puts it back and begins her shower routine. Although it ended up not to be her regular routine, no this was her hurt routine this was her revenge routine and this was her desperate cry for help. She lowers herself onto her hands and knees and puts her fingers to the back of her throat feeling fro that little tab just behind her tongue, ah there it is, now just holds it down and there we go. She rips out her hand and begins the familiar pattern she coughs and then out comes small bits of her last meal. She repeats this for the entire shower time until she no longer wants to. She gets out and can't decide if she should smirk or grimace because although she got exactly what she wanted she is still hurting. Because although she did end up getting revenge on her parents for not putting more effort in when they found out about her skipping meals and she was able to have her moment of being the problem child out of the family of seven, she still hurts and she is still flawed and her parents still don't know about any of this. And the worst part is, She...she is me.