Ok...we have all heard the stories of Pooh bear, and Paddington Bear, the three bears and the bear in the Jungle book Baloo.......well please meet their distant cousin,
Hokey Bear. Hokey bear is a sweet bear, but rather naughty at times, although he doesn't think it's naughty at the time. He doesn't like marmalade sandwiches nor honey, he likes pizza, stuffed crust with pineapple and double cheese, he also likes a kebab on a Fridays, and sometimes or mostly most times he like a drink of Iron brew. Hokey is not the run of the mill bear, he is a street bear who was bought from the local charity shop by Mrs Cutout, who one rainy morning took little Hokey under her pac a mac wing and sheltered him from all the other toys in the charity shop, who obviously didn't like Hokey's antics. But he has a sweet face, like bears do, you just want to hug them and say, don't do it again.
Mrs Cutout lived in a two up two down row of neat houses, in a rural village in Nottinghamshire. She lived there with her two dogs, Dexter and Henry and a feral guniea pig called Hogwash, it was uncertain if Hogwash was a girl or a boy, every time Hogwash was picked up there was a squealing and a thrashing of limbs, we may as well establish now that Hogwash is a girl. Hogwash had emigrated from the garden next door, for a better climate. Mrs Cuthout liked to grow her own vegetables and Hogwash had noticed how green was the valley in Mrs Cutout's patch, it was inevitable that she would, against all odds, attempt to go over the wall and seek her fortune in another property. Nobody minded, as there were several feral guinea pigs in the area.. One more absent without leave would not matter.
Usually of a morning, Hokey would rise about ten, and bob downstairs just in time for elevensies. This would be, a bacon sandwich with real butter and a pint pot of strong tea. That was his usual pick me up for the day, and today was no different. He could smell the aroma of bacon cooking, and hear the familiar spitting of the fat, which had activated his natural urge to swaffle. Swaffling was a hobby of Hokey, swaffling is eating at a faster pace stoked by eagerness and enjoyment. Pigs swaffle, they swaffle for truffles and ruffle the truffles till they swaffle them. Hokey new this, he learnt how to swaffle from pigs, which he had seen on the television on various shows, and some on Come Dine With Me, but they were not actually pigs, but pretty close with their animalistic tendencies regarding food.
All set for a full on swaffle Hokey entered the kitchen. The pan was there, no bacon, the pint pot was there, no tea...no Mrs Cutout..? so where was the aroma
coming from..? and the sizzle..where ? He legged it to the kitchen window and glared through. There in the garden..was..an interloper..a huge massive structure which was probably a caravan, and through the half door he could see bacon cooking on a gas stove, unattended, all alone without anybody to care for it. As fast as you could say, I wont bother because he's already gone, Hokey made like an Olympic Athlete that didn't come from Iceland, and cleared the half stable door to land on his bottom, wham.
" Bacon, Bacon my favourite".
"not so fast bonnie lad" in an un Scottish accent.
It is at this moment Mrs Cutout appeared, as if by magic from behind the spatula she was carrying and wacked Hokey on the head.
" Naughty bear, I know what your game is"
Hokey was a little disorientated but still kept his eye on the bacon
" if you sit nicely and patiently I will make you your breakfast little bear " said Mrs Cutout.
The little bear, jumped to his feet and sat back down arms folded and legs folded, oh how he loved his bacon in a morning.
"why are you cooking bacon in the caravan Mrs C ? "
because there's a power cut..there's a power cut because the bacon butty miners are on strike, there's no coal to burn in the furnaces of the power stations to make electricity "
"oh...but why are they on strike?!" said the little bear
" well I believe its over closing bacon butty mines down"
Hokey thought for a moment, and he thought about future bacon, and he said..
"but if they close down the pits, will they have enough coal to still fuel the furnaces?"
Mrs Cutout thought for a moment, then she said
" I reckon so , they have been stock piling it up for years and ordering it cheaper from abroad, whilst wasting money on investing in these mines knowing that they are going to close them. One wonders if they actually are investing all this money in the mines, they could just be hiring all the equipment and it's all one big fairy story."
" don't be a silly bear, you will still get your bacon..you may have to pay more for it though"
" what is plan A then, when all the pits close down, where does the energy come from?"
Mrs C thought, then said " well, I reckon they have something up their sleeve, not for us to worry over, we pay members of parliament for that privilege."
" hmm, the last time I didn't worry about it, I ended up in the charity shop, on the redundant shelf"..
"little bear ..I have you bacon sandwich here, eat it now while it's hot for tomorrow it will ..all be gone"
The little bear didn't have the heart to swaffle, he , thought about all the miners, on strike un swaffling and losing their right to swaffle. He thought, what do I do..carry on as normal or just throw everything up in the air and go on strike myself, for more bacon. he thought he would ask Henry and Dexter, so he left his bacon sarnie and went back into the house.
Dexter and Henry were eating their biscuits. They were not concerned over bacon as they were happy eating their biscuits.
"lads, lads help me out" said Hokey
"do you reckon I should, support the miners, and come out on strike..? in order to save my bacon?"
Dexter growled from the bottom of his dog bowl and looked a thought full post swaffling look.
"well bonnie lad" in a dog Scottish lisp.
" have they had a ballot?"
Hokey. ".hm..I think they had one..but I'm not sure"
"I am in the same union..National Union of Bacon Butty Miners"
" well look to your conscience Hokey, you either support the men, or support yourself"
There was a shuffling and Henry appeared all dishevelled looking like he just had his nose in the electric socket " I'm alright Hokey.." he sniffed.
" the minute my biscuits dwindle I WILL SNAP !""
a flying picket stormed through the garden, it was Hogwash shouting "Hogwash, it's all Hogwash"..but nobody listened, not the the media, not parliament, nobody listened or helped they just let the story play out like this is what they all wanted. It felt like Animal Farm a struggle from the donkeys to keep what they had, they were not greedy, they were happy..the bacon buttie miners were happy..and that's what really stuck in their craw..
Hokey was in limbo..what to do. Either way his bacon was in jeapady sooner or later. He could stick with what he knew, and reap a good harvest..or come out in support, then the storey would still end the same..no bacon buttie miners. It was a toughie, but being the pig that he was, he let hmiself drift back toward the aroma of lush bacon cooking on the stove..it impregnated his senses, and he thought that, he wasn't such a communist, he wasn't such a socialist, he was just a bloody bear.. and really should not be hung drawn and quartered for bacon buttie addiction.
Mrs Cutout smiled, and removed her paper cutout disguise..it was really Mrs T all along.
the witch of Grantham she never liked bacon.