I AM LUCHADORE!!

(this is a tribute to another lucha vs dragon dnd story, I just made it better by adding more context 3 more dragons a realistic end, and about 1000 other things hope you enjoy)

The bell sounds as the next right starts for I am Luchadore, I never back down, I flex my oiled muscles of glory and pride, I let out a battle cry I AM LUCHADORE !!!! I leap with my calves of truth into the air posing in mid air the bear grease I was covered with earlier shines brilliantly in the spot light my muscles flex and my nipples harden as I prepare for what is to come. My glorious boots meet with the chest of my pathetic opponent and it’s a instant K.O. I stand triumphant over the fallen body of my opponent

Is there no one to stand equal with me? Time and time again I face my enemy with honor and I stand triumphant, a luchadore feasts on the honor of battle and without It I will surely die. Suddenly a bright light flashes before me and I am warped to a strange field. All around me are giant knights lined up, and a booming voice calls out, your challenge awaits. Immediately the knights begin to charge at me…..My adrenalin thrushes, YOU DARE ATTACK ME!!!? I am LUCHADORE!!!!! I charge forward head long into battle with only my beautiful muscles to aid me, me vs 1000 I will win I MUST BE VICTORIOUS!!!! I drive into the first 3 soldiers using a crow bar maneuver, their necks snap against the force of my mighty arms.

I back flip to keep some distance and flex my pectorals they glisten in the sunlight with such perfection the knights are taken aback. I use the advantage of their surprise to grab one of the stunned knights and begin swinging him around my head, his limp body I use as a club to bludgeon his brothers in arms, 5 by 5 they fall, arrows fall from every directions I use his limp body as a shield. I leap up flying above the arrow cloud my silhouette blots out the sun, I hear them all gasp and cower in fear. Higher and Higher I climb 10,20,30,40,50 feet I rise into the air my arms spread like glorious eagle wings. As I reach the Pinnacle of my Ascent, the sunlight’s reflects off my skin making me shine like a pearl it blinds the eyes of the soldiers below. I take a nose dive crossing my arms before me, My decent quickens I concentrate the glory of my whole life before me and concentrate it into my fists I scream, I SHALL NOW SHOW YOU, ALL OF YOU, HOW FOOLISH IT WAS TO ATTEMPT TO KILL ME!!!! FOR I AM LUCHADORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I use my practiced hand motion and activate my special move of ultimate glory. Special glory nail dive bomb drop of humiliating dead and pain, I howl as I dive head first to the ground LUUUUUUUUUCCCCHHHHHAAAAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!

My body drives into the ground creating a massive explosion of dirt, stone, rubble. My glory echo’s and explodes all around me eradicating all knights around me killing off every last one. I take a knee both legs broken. I have won, it is official, none exist that can defeat me. My face falls forward, in exhaustion I sleep. For a time this is all I am until the beating of wakes me from my slumber, 4 dragons drop down and surround me, instantly they began feasting on the corpses around me with each one they eat, they grow larger and become more corrupt in appearance. Those soldiers fought with glory fairness and honor. They deserve to not have their corpses desecrated by these savage beasts, I WILL AVENGE THEE!!! My shout draws the attention of the massive dragons, even though both my legs are broken I stand up proudly on my two legs, I accept the pain, I stare each of them in the eye with murderous intent.

They charge at me with more speed than I had anticipated, after years and years of wins I have gained all the experience needed to evade dumb animals like these. I dart forward, but my wind leaves me as my knees buckle beneath me, I am too broken to run I can barely stand. Is this my end? NO NO I WILL NOT FALL HERE. Inside me a light burns and fills me with such power, the power of my ancestors the power of a LUCHADORE. I  stand up on my own two legs refreshed and healed completely, as 2 of the dragons dive to take me into their teeth filled mouths I leap into the air and launch a spinning flying kick into both of their faces breaking ones jaw, but before I can reach the second a third comes up behind me and sinks its teeth into my right arm, the dragon I was heading towards uses the opportunity to take ahold of my other arm, in one swift motion they rip away both limbs from my body, I feel the light in my disappear, as they toss me into the air, flood flowing freely from my shoulder sockets, flows around me as I fall toward the dragons, who are fighting each other over who gets to enjoy the kill.

I am Luchadore I have fought 1000 fights and I wish to fight 1000 more! Is this truly how I end? One of them swallows me whole, as I slide down the gullet I can only feel regret, how could I let myself die like this, while I still live with breath in my lungs. My dying body settles in the dragon’s stomach, all I feel is regret and fear. I never felt this close to death, I can’t say I enjoy the feeling. What was the point of achieving such greatness if this is all I will muster to be, taken down by primal beasts? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO I will not die Like this I will not let myself die in the stomach of some animal I AM LUCHADORE I AM ABOVE DYING LIKE THIS I WILL FIGHT UNTIL MY LAST BREATH I began to eat my way out of the dragons stomach lining, as I take a bite and swallow I feel my energy restored  my shoulder socket begins to glow and from them grows scaly limbs my glorious muscles become encased in armored plate scales, my throat begins to glow, I feel the power of the dragon grow inside me. I look down at my hands even in this stomach I can see with my new eyes, I have talons for hands, a Luchadore has no need for weapons I break off each talon for I have no need of any of them. I use my new arms to pry open the dragons stomach. I climb up the outside of its esophagus, then pierce though the sack under its chin with my bear hands ripping through its jugular vein along the way, the dragon lets out a howl with its last breath, and with Its last breath I take a new breath of life. As I fly through the air another beast launches at me and I let out my breath in a let of dragons fire my fire burns like gold.

It shines with the honor of my ancestor and incinerates the dragon’s face half off. As it recoils, another lunges at me and I latch onto its face it shakes with such fury it launches me into the air this time I’m in the clouds I say to myself ROUND 2!! I pull my legs up behind my aiming my knees toward the ground and wait for my decent. I exhale from my lungs and let flames erupt around me as my body breaks through the clouds I see the dragon on the ground preparing to take flight. I let my dragons fire erupt in full force as I pick up extreme amounts of speed, for glory, for honor, I live and die   I AM LUCHADORE EL dragon I pick up even more speed and erupt into a speeding comet just as the dragons legs leave the ground my flaming knees meet with its spine instantly shattering and burning through its entire body scales, bones  organs and all, until I reach the ground the force of my impact send the 2 remaining dragons flying. Before they can recover  I am on my feet yet again. Running like a flaming arrow toward the closest one, I latch onto it’s tail with my massive beautiful arms and begin to swing it into a circle taking full advantage of my new found strength. It regains consciousness and begins spewing fire in a circle as I swing it around faster and faster I leap into the air allowing the weight and momentum of the dragon to carry me off, I scurry up its scaly body and hold its massive skull in a head lock positioning its head so that when it lands it will break, sure enough I hear the satisfying snap of a dragons neck breaking. I howl I AM LUCHADORE EL dragon HEAR MY ROAR I call out to the last dragon a challenge, but before it can leave my lips, the last dragon is air born and has picked me up my my arm and takes me into the air, FOOL YOU CANNOT KILL ME BY DROPPING ME FROM ANY HIGHT nonetheless it climbs higher and higher  I realize what it attempts with it facing extinction, it plans on using the last bit of its magic to take me into space, I won’t let it, I use my other hand and being smashing at its teeth aafter five or so hits it cracks, but the blue horizon seems to be getting close and closer, and I can no longer breath. I feel light headed as I try my best to shatter this dragons teeth just before I lose consciousness I break free shattering its teeth the dragon loses consciousness too at the same time as we plummet toward earth, as I come too I have fallen a couple hundred feet and the dragon is falling just below me, sure I can survive from cloud high but from just below the ozone I would surely die, I must survive I have to win, I direct the air flow around me so I can latch back onto the dragon. I cling to it for dear life but the dumb beast is still out cold, I have to wake it up I begin pounding but to no avail it’s almost dead. It’s going to need a real shocker to wake him up, so I climb up his back toward his face, I plunge my hand into his scull and rip out his left eye the dragon howls in pain…….it’s awake now. Spewing flame in every direction, it’s enraged I do my best to ride it out as it levels off closer to earth. I have to end this now!

I reach into the eye socket and breath my dragons fire into the eye socket burning through its bones revealing its brain, scolding blood sprays from its socket I dodge but lose grip of the dragon and fly freely through the air for a few moments before getting hold again on the scales I clamor back up the dragon to its head and reach into the gaping hole in the dragons eye socket and sink my finger into the dragons brain matter, pulling out a large chunk of the dragons brain. It dies instantly and begins plummeting toward earth I leap off now low enough to survive, but as it turns out my extreme power was linked to the dragons life, and without them it vanished along with my arms and healed body. I was now broken and armless as I fell toward the earth, but this time I won, I could die with pride I can die proudly wearing the name LUCHADORE. My body hits the earth with such force it makes a crater and, my work begins to grow dark, my eyes close for the last time. Only to open to such a brilliant light my the light of my ancestors I have come home.