I ll be the one with a book under my arm

Jeana, young, totally unaware of her beauty, stood in front of the mirror. Moving from side to side, looked up at Melissa and did her best fish face. "Jeana you look great, stop finding something wrong with every outfit, you look good in all of them" Jeana stood down from her tippy toes, pushed her hair behind her ears, folded her arms,inhaled  deepply and held it there. "You know getting ready to meet a brother you ve never meet before is more stressful then any date" Melissa walked towards her, hands on her shoulders, she looked into Jeanas eyes, she could see the tears that Jeana was holding back with all her mite , the emotion just ready to explode and sense the fear that Jeana was feeling. "Oh Jean-ie (a name she called her best friend of almost ten years when she was comforting her) you know what, i dont think it is going to matter what you wear, he is going to get to know you and love you, just as everyone does, its going to be okay sweetie" Jeana rested her head on Melissas shoulder, the smallest of tears escaped her control, wiping it away she kissed Melissa quickly on her cheek. "Thanks, and thanks for being here today, means the world ya know, it will be okay, im just getting, oh i dont know, overwhelmed by it all" Melissa grabbed their coats, tossed them over her arm and with a smile told Jeana to get out of the dress she was trying on, get dressed and get her ass in the car, they were going to lunch. 

"Two more days Melissa, two more days, i dont think i can eat for the next two days, or sleep, i ve waited so long for this" Jeana had nt touched her lunch, Melissa on the other hand had finished hers and was not picking form Jeanas plate. Melissa had always struggled with weight, she was a big child, a chubby teenager and now at the age of twenty five she was a weighty adult. Large soft brown eyes and a smile that could light up the room, that is what Jeana would tell Melissa to up her confidence when she was down about her weight, and she was nt lieing, Melissa had large brown eyes, a bright smile, curly dark brown hair that reached her shoulders and at 5ft 11inches she stood out in a crowd. Every year she would tell herself and of course Jeana, this is it, im going to do it, im losing the weight. Doctors had encourged her to change her diet, for health reasons. At twenty five she had already been having problems with her knees, getting out of breath on the shortest of walks. But every year she would start, and often lose a few pounds, but then she would have a bad week and it always seemed to slide back and sometimes back further then she was with her weight. Melissa and Jeana meet in a book club they both attended in their community, their parents thought it would encourage them to enjoy books, meet booky people and keep them away from boys. They were fifthteen years old at the time. Dropped off outside the community centre each week by their parents, bored and not in the least interested in the club, Melissa and Jeana found each other, both the youngest of the club, both had few other friends. Jeana had flawless lilly white skin, chestnut hair, emerald green eyes, a slight girl usually covered up with baggy jumpers and oversized jeans. 5ft 7inches tall, and always told Melissa she would love to rob some inches from her, because she longed to have long legs and never have to wear heels. Jeana was adopted when she was six months old by Mary and Jim. She was their only child, they adopted her when they were in their late thirtys and doted on her, she was their world. When Jeana reached teenage years Mary found it hard to let go, and so everywhere Jeana went, Mary would drive her there and pick her up. Mary screened Jeanas friends, and so until meeting Melissa, Jeana had few friends. Melissa was the youngest child in a family of four, all successful, lawers, doctors, teachers. From a young age Melissa felt the presure of keep up with her siblings. From a young age Melissa ate when stressed. Her family were wealthy, lived in a well to do area, had well to do friends. Melissas weight and how she looked embrassed her mother, and she would tell Melissa this often. Melissa was a nurse at the local old folks home, kind and caring her job suited her personality well. However Melissa always felt she had let her family down, a nurse was someone who did not do well enough to become a doctor in her parents view. Jeana was jealous of Melissa siblings and always wished she had at least one brother or sister. Working as a carer for fostor children, Jeana felt her job was sometimes too close to home. The empathy she felt for the kids she worked with was sometimes too draining for her, but she was learning to seperate her work and her home life. 

At the age of 23 Jeana meet Tom, a handsome media journalist, twenty eight years old and it was love at first sight for Jeana. It was Tom who put the wheels in motion for Jeana to find any family she may have out there. Tom who traced her family to America, and Tom who never gave up on finding Jeanas twin brother once they knew he existed. Now two days before meeting him Jeana felt like she would explode with excitement, fear, tension and stress. Melissa was just what she needed, Melissa quite caring way was always good to be around. "Okay so you have your travel outfit sorted, you have a few nice tops to wear while running around in the streets of New York.. ahhh can you believe you are going to New York, i am so jealous Jeana" Melissa gave a squeal of delighted and hugged Jeana across the table. Jeana had only been out of Ireland once, when she was fourteen, with her parents. They had gone for a week to France, an awful week, a boring week, driving for hours with her parents to visit historal sites that she at the age of fourteen she had no interest in, her mother watching her every move. But now here she was about to set off for America and meet Josh, her twin brother. All she knew about him, about their story was that their mother had been very young when they were born, eighteen. Given for adoption from birth, born in Ireland, and their mother was Irish. Josh was adoption by a couple who lived in Long island America, and Jeana by Mary and Jim living in Dublin. Born in 1970, twenty five years ago on May 10th. No name of a father on their brith cert, just written "Father unknown" Josh was studying music, he played the paino, really well from what she heard and worked part-time in a pet shop near the appartment he now shared with two friends from college. Jeana had seen his picture and as much as she gazed and gazed at that phoyo she could not believe this was her twin brother. Non idenital, but the same green eyes, the same smile, Jeana felt she would brust with all she had to tell him, to ask him. But what if they did nt get on? what if he did nt like her? full of what ifs? Jeana took a deep breath and tried not to think too much. Remembering the first day she heard his voice, that phone call, their first conversation. They had shared a womb, shared a mother for nine months and had their first conversation in October 1995, aged twenty five years old. Josh sounded just a nearvous as Jeana on the phone that day, They planned their meeting, not at the airport but outside where Jost studied music. "I want to walk out and see you standing there that day sis, a memory ill keep forever"  Jeana thought it was a perfect plan, she would wait on her brother by the steps of the New York school of music, see him for the first time in the flesh outside that wonderful place, her memory that she would keep forever. "Hey Josh, you ll know it is me because i will have a book under my arm" Jeana gave a giggle as she said it, not sure if her idea was a silly one. Josh had posted a photo to her and her to him. But Jeana worried that they may miss each other in the crowd. "Okay sis, good idea, but id know you, your my sister"  Jeanas heart filled with love for the brother she never knew.

The morning had arrived, plane tickets in her hand Jeana hugged Mary and Jim harder then she ever had before "I ll be fine, I ll phone soon as i get there, promise" Mary held both her hands in hers, her eyes full of tears, Jim placed his arm around his wife, rubbing her shoulder gently. "You ll always be my parents, you know that, you are my family too" Jeana reasured Mary and Jim, her heart breaking for Mary, knowing her concerns, would Jeana now forget them, not need them, would she stay in America. All these concerns and others had been voiced in the weeks leading up to Jeanas departure. Jeana turned now to Melissa, "Oh Jean-ie, wish i could go with you, oh im going to miss you girl" Melissas face full of love for her friend, wrapped her arms around Jeana "Hey, cant breath" Jeana said, pulling back and laughing at Melissas bear hug that she was famous for. "Just gonna miss you so much, but im so happy for you, loads of photos, i want loads and video and anything else you can get, bring me back a lock of his hair" Melissa gave a giggle and kissed Jean on the cheek. Tom stood at the departure gate, "Tom" Jeana began, Tom put his finger over her lips, "Hey no more thank yous, no more going to miss you and no more tears babe, just go, go and enjoy every minute, we will all be fine if you are" Jeana kissed Tom hard on the lips, put her month to his ear and wisphered, "just three words Tom, i love you" Smiling with her eyes she looked into Toms, placing his hands gently on her face he smiled and kissed her on the forhead. "Be safe babe, talk to you tonight" Jeana walked towards the ticket desk, turned, waved and shouted out in a moment of maddness "Wooo im going to meet my brother, in America" giggled before disapearing throught the doors. 

Boarding the plane Jeana knew her life would never be the same again, when she returned she would have met him, when she returned she would have a brother she knew, like normal people, a brother she knew. All Jeannas fears ran through her head as the plane took off into the skys. What ifs came flooding in, what if i dont like him, what if he does nt like me, what if we just dont get on. Jeana put her earphones on, trying to block the thoughts that now crowded her brain. 

Tired, but too excited to sleep Jeana, she must keep to their plan, she must wait just eight more hours to meet him. Tossing and turning in the bed, unable to take in all that she had seen that day, the city the people. The night seemed endless, moments of sleep, heavy with dreams, dreams of a young mother pregnant with twins in a time in Ireland that was run by a church, a church that dismissed unmarried mothers, a community that looked down on them, pushed them away. Families in the late sixtys, early seventys in Ireland whould have suffered shame at having a daugther pregnant without a husband beside her. Jeana longed to hear her mothers story, longed to know what had happened, who was her father, where was he? One thing at a time, Jeanna told herself as she left the hotel that morning. It was a cold October day, Jennas black wool coat covered the dress that had taken so long to choose, but right now that did nt matter, right now keeping the cold out and getting there was all that mattered. Taking the book out of her bag Jeana read the title, she gave a little giggle before placing it under her arm. 

Jeana walked towards the steps where they had agreed to meet. Listening to her heart beat Jeanna counted to ten again and again trying to relax a little, she was early by ten minutes. She checked her watch once, once again and again. The minutes seemed like hours. Jeana expected a crowd to come out, crowd of young people who attended this college, what if she missed him, what if he missed her? Five more minutes and he would be here. A young man stood across from Jeana, handsome, chestnut flexs hid in his dark brown hair, on the stubble on his face, he was smiling now and walked towards her. "Hey sis, so what book did you bring me" Jeana wanted to hug him so bad, awkwardly they stood, both with tears now streaming down their face, Josh held out his arms, Jeana jumped into them and hugged him tight. "Oh Josh, im so happy to finally meet you" Laughing and crying all in the same moment, drying her tears away with a tissue she handed one to Josh, "heres your book Josh, hope you like it" Josh looked at the title and smile broke over his face, - The book of Irish slang words - was the title "well you re going to need it when you visit home" Josh hugged Jeana once more, settling themselfs on a wall they sat laughing at the slang written in this silly book, Jenna rested her head on Joshs shoulder, her brother, her family, she was home.