I MUST LEAVE ...........

HELL ON EARTH! I feel the pull of life dragging me down as I sink further into the abyss of my own torment. Why do I feel such anger and why do I have such conflict whirling like a tornedo round and round in my head? Â
Life has become too much to bear and I hold my head in my weary hands as I feel my breath weaken with every step I take. The air up here is getting thinner. As my fate is put before me... I teeter over the brink of life: Nothing, there is nothing for me to hold on to; desolate; reaching out to nothing but still I canât leave the comfort of the soft earth that is slowly slipping away beneath my feet.  I feel my grasp on life slowly, effortlessly slipping away and I start to panic!Â
âHow did my existent become so pointless and disregarded by all who I thought loved me; where were they now? Nowhere!! I was on my own and for some strange reason that gave me validation; comfort in the knowledge I was justified in my anger and hatred of everyone and everything that was my life.â Â
The wind starts to whip around my face and my hair covers my eyes, I cannot see, and yet everything is becoming much clearer to me now. Â
âWhen you have loved somebody so much and they treat you so harshly, so cruelly, what hope is there for the future. Iâd loved my uncle he was the closest thing to a Father I was ever likely to have. He said he loved me too; said I was his âspecial little princess!â He loved to give me cuddles and buy me treats! I liked feeling âspecialâ nobody really noticed me apart from him. One day he told me that he wanted to show me just how much he âlovedâ me; it was to be a secret because people wouldnât understand and he would have to leave. I didnât want him to leave me; people were always leaving me! My Uncle started to show how much he âlovedâ me every opportunity he could. I wanted him to stop; I begged him to stop; but he couldnât, he 'loved' me too much. He still loves me too much, thatâs why I must leave!â
My heart is racing, pounding;  I can feel it beneath my thin jumper, yet I am now strangely calm. No longer will I feel pain; no more will I want to sleep; I will be free of this prison that is life. The ground is crumbling and as my feet slide further, towards the very edge of reason, I close my eyes and leave............... There is no more pain; I feel nothing. I feel in death as I had in life; nothing..........
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Comments
WOW Rachel very good write, I was gripped to the end, infact I was gutted when it ended as I wanted more LOL!!!
Fantastic 5*s from me X:)
Ah, thanks Jason!!! Not sure how I felt about it at the end but you have changed my mind slightly!! Â Thanks for your words of encouragement and your 5*s :)x
Youre welcome i loved it x:)
This is very painful to read; can't imagineÂ
the suffering but you've described thisÂ
perfect Rachel; a helluva story!Â
Best wishes Jai :)Â
Thanks Jai, appreciate your kind comments and reading  :)
Thanks Colleen :)