Madness...Or??

The day I went mad
The craziness was explicit 
I knew within me that my behaviour was abnormal 
But I had no control over my reflexes 
I spoke and cried and laughed
I gave so many meaningless and flat facial expressions 
Running through my head was the fact that there was a possibility of no return
A possibility of even death
I began to imagine my patients on the psych unit 
I came to the realization that this was what they suffered most days of their life's
Such sadness enveloped me And I cried. I cried not because of my situation but because of the inhuman judgements people pass on these innocents who have lost autonomy.

I looked up and there he was, this time not only did I fear for my life but for his. It was ok for me to be in this state but not him. What would I do if he got to a place of no return? What would life be? I knelt before him and did the unspeakable. I had been in love forever but wanted to see things progress before letting him know. But here I was, on my knees about to spill my guts. I cried and I screamed and I pleaded "for I love you! I love you so much it cannot be described, please stop..please come back to me. For I love you". It all felt like a dream but apparently I was never asleep. After so much activity..I was finally able to lay and rest. My down time was cut short as my worse nightmare had only begun. He began phase one of laughter, I was scared but had obtained hope from my own experience and hence I knew his phases would elapse just like mine. He made phone calls looking for help because in his words "am burning inside, I cannot see myself, would I die?". I knew all I could do was to be by him and ensure he did not step out of the house. Finally he got himself to puke. As he worked his magic in the washroom, I stood there in my drowsy state and I did nothing but admire. I admired him, "he has so much control over his body that he can make his system get rid of whatever it rejects" I thought. Or could it be thanks to the mysterious markings on his abdomen which captivates my attention all the time? Whatever reason, I was grateful and began to thank God. We went back to bed and cuddled like we was each other's salvation and rested for a brief time. Next day was quite embarrassing as I had flashbacks of all that had happened. I recovered and realized that even in my subconscious, my feelings for this one man...were great and immeasurable. I know without doubt that I would go the extra mile for him...and then, I feel safe.