manyana Barcelona

I've been to Barcelona, four times.  Twice in a heavy goods vehicle
and twice by areoplane.  It was most enjoyable by hgv but the in cab
food was shite, and the toilet facilites left alot to be desired.
On the return journey we were late for the ferry  from Cherbourg
and the bastard driver ( subsequently known as Cod) wouldn't stop
the vehicle.  The call of Nature being not a accustomed to waiting,
I weed full throttle in the front of the cab lit by backlight into a
chicken in a basket used container,  I was assured that no one could
see..but by the look of onward coming vehicles I would like to dispute
that.
 Passing water seems to be, a bit of a drama in Barcelona.  We
were picking up 28 tons of onions from a depot, onions are a pungent commodity.  If you are driving in convoy with other vehicles on an Onion run..the odour of onions penetrates your soul as nuclear fall out would..with a radius of a mile.  I always know when they are lifting onions in the local fields..me eyes begin to stream with fond memories of driving in the wake of an onion current.
  We arrived over night, to pick up a load of Spanish Onions..
and once again I needed to answer the call of nature.  The best place to perform, 
or so I thought, was underneath the carriage of the trailer, which I did,,but 
was haltered mid stream by armed security men...peering underneath the lorry
with a torch.  I still have nightmares now..having my bits floodlit was pretty
scary. . no doubt for those poor officers too..I do believe one was physically sick..
on site. 
The second visit to Barcelona was taking industrial brewing equipment and bringing 
back fabric.  Loading up in this particular suburb was manic..All day shunting backwards
and forwards, putting little loads on..as, the stock was not all there for loading
up, typical Spanish business sense..manyana manyana (tomorrow tomorrow ) there was that much toxic fumes in the small streets, it made me ill, and
the chicken in a basket container came in handy again...I also nearly got swindled
in a local shop, I only bought a packet of crisps and gave him a note..he didnt
give me the change, so I said..and where is the rest of the notes..which he then 
took out of the till..I tell you, I was  brewing up inside..if he had not have
given me another note out of that till..all the bags of crisps on display I 
would have bloody well popped the lot..why do people try to be clever,
actually this dismayed me greatly.
  Barcelona..I never get it right.  When I flew there, I stayed ten miles out
in Pineda De Marr..and caught the train right down the coast getting off at the
end of La Rambles street.  From here I caught the tourist bus, which runs the entire
city, it goes to the Marina, to the football stadium, up to Gaudi's Sagrada Familia, which
was my destination.  Well I wanted a really good picture of Sagrada Familia, so I was poised on
the top of an open deck bus, camera waiting, and when the gothic cathedral appeared,
I leapt up, dropped the camera and missed the shot, flew by in a whisper,  Well , I didnt
get off the bus, I thought I would wait till the bus came back round to this attraction,
wrong...the tourist buses run on a set circular route, I was on the green route, yes it would
come back to the Sagrada Familia...but in another three hours !!  I had to sit there, with
the japanese and the germans snapping away..till I eventually got to the gothic cathedral..then 
bugar me..I want to go to the toilet !!! imagine the number of people passing through this 
city.  The toilet was  one small porta cabin unisex..and the que was twenty strong.  I qued up,
I opened the door forty five minutes later...and weed for England.  The toilet was..worse
than any toilet I had seen in the world, worse than anything in Turkey or Albania..if you could breath in there which I tried not to..but any port in a storm, I was desperate..who carries spare clothes for badly timed accidents..nobody.  I now don't have qualms about  answering the call of nature anywhere...god help me when I lose control of the sphincter muscles as it will be touch and go..anywhere...and at the drop of a ...