Masks

when we grow up we all realise that everyone is not truly who they say they are. It's as if we're all wearing masks, these colourful disguises. Think of everyone you've ever knew, think of everyone you've gotten close to; people only show us what they want us to see and that can be a very scary thing in itself. Even me, as I'm writing this I can never show you who I really am, you can only assume from what I let you see. 

I met one person who really taught me the whole meaning of this lesson, I loved him a lot. It sounds stupid, because I'm so young but I think I did. It's that sort of longing ache feeling for someone who you know has really hurt you. When I met him I was completely different, naive about the whole world and love, so naive about love. I thought I'd be with one person my whole life and that would be it, forever and I'd be so content. I knew from the second I spoke to him this was that person, he could make me laugh and smile whenever he wanted; looking back I was stupid to think that he wouldn't make me cry. He made me his and to me that was like a dream, just being wanted by someone. However nothing lasts forever and my happiness soon crumbled when he noticed other girls, he was fickle. so fickle. As time went on I noticed how little he actually cared for me his nice comments turned into sharp remarks. His sheer ignorance when I spoke as if he could mute my voice whenever he wanted, I'd lost complete control of myself. I was doing things, because he wanted me to, as if it was my only purpose.

shortly after he got bored and left, walked straight out of my life. gone. I never saw him again after, he was fake, his love was fake. It's strange looking back on it all I realise that was just him and that's what he does. that's his mask and no matter how hard I try to tear that down I'll never know who's underneath. so now this is me, this is my mask the girl who knows the truth about people, but pretends she doesn't. Hiding behind a smile.