Story -

Wanting too much.

ā€œIā€™m fed up.ā€, thatā€™s what people always used to say; everyday was another day when someone was fed up. Iā€™d always wonder what it meant, because whenever it was asked theyā€™d reply ā€œeverythingā€. What can be wrong with everything? there was always a specific reason for it, usually a friend had pissed them off, or theirĀ boyfriend or parents or or or etc. I could go on for days, but what happens when you do truly become ā€˜fed upā€™ with everything, is that depression or boredom? Is that the feeling when you wake up and the whole world looks grey and thereā€™s a banging in your head telling you to curl back into bed. I donā€™t know if iā€™m honest.Ā 

Sometimes I do get that banging in my head though and it tests my will every time. It makes: moving difficult, thinking hurt and most of all feeling hurt. I wish my life was better a lot of the time, but I understand life has to be hard or it isnā€™t life. I donā€™t know what I want to do apart from move away, start again somewhere new, be better. I think iā€™m running away and I know thatā€™s not the best solution, but Iā€™ve decided thatā€™s my only solution, my town drives me insane. I want to make something of myself, you know be great and all that. Iā€™d like to have the world at my feet with a big fancy job in a media company doing something important (I canā€™t imagine what yet); Disney would be right for me, Iā€™d walk around knowing that I work for one of the biggest corporations in the world.

It would be nice if my life was more romantic; I have a boyfriend who iā€™d like to keep, if I can. But I want FIREWORKS and the feeling of hundred ofĀ butterflies flying round in your stomachĀ when your nervous. I miss being nervous in away itā€™s weird not to be, iā€™m calm in front of him, because he knows me too well. He knows every move or act before I make it. I try to push his buttons; I want to see him out of control, out of his comfort zone, surprise him. He always lets me win though, heā€™s a gentleman like that.

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