Mens mental health from my perspective

Men's mental health from my perspective.
There has been a stigma attached to men's mental health since Adam was a boy and Eve just a twinkle in someone’s eye. Men, as a whole species are conditioned from day dot to be strong, provide for their family, protect their land and hide any weakness from perceived threats. So, to admit that they struggle with mental health, according to the boys' code, is like telling the world they prefer to wear women’s underwear. It just isn’t done.
Men are a whole different species from women, but that doesn’t mean they don’t struggle with their mental health. It’s very easy for society to sit there and say to the men that they need to “suck it up” and be a “man.” What society doesn’t understand is that men suffer from mental illness just like women do and it affects them in the same way my mental health affects me. From the dawn of time, men have been viewed as the strong ones and told not to cry because it shows weakness. But the term “weakness” is subjective and used incorrectly when it comes to a man’s mental health and well being. I have grown up with some guy friends and they’ve been taught from such a young age that crying is a sign of deficiency. If a male shows any sort of affection they get called a "simp'' or they tell me it’s "weak" for them to show they care or like girly things. Men are human like the rest of us and we all have our moments when we burst into tears. However, when a girl cries, they’re immediately comforted and cared for. But when a guy cries, it’s a sign of “fragility” and they need to “grow up” and be “manly”. Hundreds if not thousands of men and women commit suicide every year but the male suicide rate is much higher due to them not being taken seriously and turned away as if they are nothing. Society has projected this image of what young men should be and act like; it’s never “Are you okay?” or, “How are you doing lately?” Instead it’s “you’re a pussy for crying” and “why’re you crying?” or “Man up and don’t be weak”. Men and women are complex and unique to their gender profiles. They were raised with a very different set of acceptable behavior patterns and coping strategies. Men were conditioned not to talk about their problems and never to show weakness, whilst women were raised to care too much and show too much emotion. I think men should just express their emotions regardless of people judging, because if you bottle it up then you’ll eventually explode and cry anyway. I think that the image society has put out there for all the young men to follow should be changed, it’s not fair to be struggling and then be told to "be a man,"and be manly about it.
I think the mental health services in New Zealand should try harder to help our young men with their silent battles and wars going on in their heads. Boys' mental health has always been pushed away and if a boy is seen crying no one will help them, people will stand there and laugh but if a girl cries, it's a different story. Girls get comforted and boys get ignored.   
In many ways our society has progressed and moved with the times, however, in the area of men's mental health, New Zealand is in a rut. We as a people pride ourselves on equality and in this decade, we have even opened up age-old gender bias and created fluidity in both gender roles and sexuality. It’s a shame that in an area where the male population is crying out for help, we as a nation remain stoically fixated on keeping those “head shrinking” topics under wraps. Until we can truly abolish gender stereotyping and allow men to have an equally heard voice on the stage of mental well being, I believe that domestic violence will continue to rise, as will child abuse and public brawling. After all, when we tell a young male to “Man up” and “Stop being a pussy,” or let them “Settle things like men,” and “Take it outside,” aren’t we really just saying, “I’m not listening to you,” and “Mental health is just a female thing?” Surely we have evolved more than this?
So, in closing, I believe that the likes of John Kirwan and Mike King have the right idea in publicizing men's depression, and even coining the phrase, “The black dog,” if for nothing more than the fact that it's more acceptable if depression is described in a masculine way. We need to make it okay for a man’s voice to be heard in the same arena as the women’s. Maybe then we would truly be moving forward with gender equality and doing something about the rising suicide rate in young teenage men. Everyone deserves to be heard.