my depression my feelings

if anyone could understand depression its me I've battled  with depression my entire life
it really is the worst feeling ever I've been in and out of mental hospitals and regular hospitals more than you could count
to get help but here in Montana they have no services for a person like me i constantly feel like committing suicide i feel like a burden on everyone i feel like im not worth living im a waist of air and theres no help for me i have dreams but im not able to go for them because im always broke social security thinks $735 a month is enough to live on but it's not i feel like im all alone i have no firends how i've survived this long i dont know i've had so much trama  and drama in my life somtimes i jus want to lie in the road and die  i've dealt with anxiety   depression live with  it all but i've survived through it all and ive attempted suicide a bunch of times  but im alive i still have constant depression and anxiety but i power through it so if anyone could possible know depression anxiety and trauma i certainly do .