My life

As I was growing up, I had it pretty easy with regard to my parents and older siblings. Coming from a large french family.. (you know what they say about the French? They have large families to help with the farms). There were 8 of us. Oh and guess what, NO FARM!

Being the youngest, I was spoiled. Mommy's little doll to dress up and daddy's little girl. I'm not saying my life was a bed of roses. I was molested by our old neighbor for 4 to 5 years. Parents were singers (so I've been told lol). My eldest sisters had a difficult time as did most of my brothers, they were my father's step children. Their father got hit by a drunk driver when mom was pregnant for the the 6th child. Other than some crap going on, my childhood was pretty normal.

My older full biological brother had this freaking toy, it was a terrible looking hand puppet, I forget what his name was BUT IT SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. I laugh now because I got him in to so much trouble.

Let's fast forward a bit. TEEN!

Shortly before highschool, I lost my mom to breast cancer. No matter what they tried, it didn't work and I recall near the end of her life, she began forgetting who I was. The day she died dad and I were at the hospital visiting her. Me being me, I was busy visiting all the other patients in the ward. There was a young man who was in a coma, and I had been visiting him for weeks. I wrote poetry even then, so who better to read it to then someone who cannot judge as shallow as that sounds, his mom overheard some of what I was reading and she said she was astounded and when ever I was there she noticed that there was a reaction to my voice. Maybe she was stroking the ego of a young impressionable 14yr old girl. Anyway, that was May 26th 1988. My dad came to fetch me and said it was time to go home. I hadn't said bye to my mom but figured I'd see her on the 27th as it was her birthday. 11:50pm  May 26th 1988, 10 minutes before her birthday, my mother had passed away. I was so angry at myself and the young man in a coma.... He kept me there, he made me read to him, I didn't say goodbye. How could I not have taken 2 minutes to say good bye. I was selfish and hated myself. Why didn't dad tell me to say bye??? WHY? Her passing hit me hard, it was the end for me. I needed a mom. I needed my mom.I misses a month of school. I didn't write my final exams for that year. I didn't go to grad. My grade 8 teacher had come to pick me up and in essence, my father forced me to go. LIKE I WANT TO PARTY, IT HADN'T EVEN BEEN A MONTH. 

I loved highschool, it was a great distraction. MINER NINERS is what they called the "freshmen here. Drama was my favorite class along with Geo and science. ( Believe it or not, I failed typing haha). I was not one to get pushed around and I did create a little fear in some students. See, any mention of my mom caused me to black out and hurt the idiot who mentioned her. The other students quickly learned. I was a royal B and quite the harlot. I drank, did drugs, I also was a cutter. ANYTHING TO NUMB THE PAIN.

Then came Derek,  my official first boyfriend ( I did have others but not worth a mention... damn idiots ), love of my life, he was a base player football jockey!!!! GOODNESS I LOVED HIM! He broke up with me after 6 months, there was some distance and he had a "thing" for some other chick *rolls my eyes even to this day*. 

VENGEANCE SWEET VENGEANCE....I slept with his best friend. Dated his best friend all to make Derek jealous. Did it work you ask! NOPES!

BOYFRIEND after BOYFRIEND BLAH BLAH. 17yrs old! Dating a guy 10 yrs older than me and I get pregnant.. ( before that tho, my dad started getting really sick, he was diabetic). Ok! 17 got pregnant for my oldest child. Married this man at 18, then my dad died 5 days after his birthday and 10 days before our son was born. I rebelled harshly. Kept messing around with other people, drinking a lot! Going to bars. I just didn't give a shit. Not about the man I married or the child. I hit bottom in more ways than one. 

During one affair that lasted 5wks I got pregnant with my second child. I was 20. Kept my affair on the down low. Still went to bars ( no alcohol during the pregnancy ). I decides to come clean. My xhusband was so understanding. And I told him I didn't know who the father was he or the other guy!!! YEP SLUT! My x and I tried to make it work but the guilt overcame me and I had started the affair again. Dna proved affair guy was the bio father. So I decided to give it a go. He was awesome to me and our daughter but refused to accept my son no matter how much I tried. Finally... I left his pathetic ass!

(Obviously there is so much more to the story but to much to type and don't want you to know me to well.)

1996 22yrs old... OH my word, he's got an accent, he's tall, good looking. And he would serve well as a weekend fling....Long distance relationship lasted for 2.5yr until he decided to get me to move. It was awesome and so much fun. Long conversations on the phone and watching Married with children, always asking him if he was seated like AL Bundy and his retort " of course". We bought our first home in 01, shortly after we had our son.

I had always told my fiance if I wasn't pregnant and have the kid by 27, he wouldn't have his own bio child ( he was a father to my other two).

-I digress ( I HAD A HUGE AWESOME WEDDING PLANNED AND FFS, I GOT PREGNANT. ) wedding was rushed, July 01, was suppose to be oct 27th 01, but spud was due around that time. 

We have been together 20+yrs. Married now over 15 yrs. 

I guess my south African man was what I needed.

Life was hard starting in 07. I got real sick. Dxd with many different things. Hit rock bottom again due to stress and yes, I even contemplated ending it all. I didn't want to become a burden because who knows right?

HEY IF I CAN'T WIPE MY OWN ASS!!! FORGET IT!

THAT'S ME IN A REAL BIG ASS NUTSHELL!

Sorry if it bore you!

You decided to read till the end ?