My Writing: "A cynic had been born within" By Ben Goode 2014 (c)

Heavy hearted I knew my weight was a handicap of my fate. 
For it had always hindered my outlook. 
Never complimented my eyes, I knew it wouldn't for anyone else. Perhaps I had eaten too much sorrow.

My past self had disappeared. And my ambitions covered with dust. I knew I loved you but it seemed so foolish. 
Such a young feeling. In a body which couldn't offer anything but a sincere hug. And a smile. 
But I did not want anyone to take me for a second prize, as I felt you did. Perhaps you just thought you could offer me yourself as a reluctant charity.

Appease him for his appetite is well beyond me. He will grow tired. And forget me anyway. Something you could only think. 
A mistake that perhaps cost me more heartbreak than I could afford. You left me standing above an abyss.

Looking out beyond a window of beckoning spirits. A walk I felt I could have easily taken. But how could I be so serious? You asked. For we were never really together. 
Or so you thought. Perhaps I had only dreamed you looked into my eyes with an unmistakable love.

Or maybe you acted so flawlessly that I was fooled into thinking you had feelings for me. Either way I made choices I never thought I'd have to. I switched off a care factor within. And left it off too long. And my feelings ebbed away as I became numb.

Thanks to you my love was murdered and hidden away. 
A mystery that even left myself questioning my sanity. 
Could I ever love again? And would my mind allow it? 
Certainly a cynic had been born within. 
Thriving from the long lost feelings mixed with countless tears.