Nightmares - Episode 1: The Beginning

What follows is a collection of true events. The thoughts, emotions, and remembrances I am about to disclose are extremely graphic and sensitive in nature. My intent is not to glorify horrors or communicate bitterness. It is my desire that these accounts will eventually provide hope to those facing unspeakable difficulties and instill in all of us a deep appreciation- a heart of thankfulness in all situations. 

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For those who smile in public but cry privately in bathrooms.
For those gripped by fear. For those who have not yet found their voice.
For the hurting and broken. You are not alone. I love you, brother. I love you, sister.

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Black-out drunk and hours late, a father arrives at a hospital and is led into a room where his wife and first child wait quietly. He begins cursing. He calls his baby fat and leaves.

A few years later a child reaches for a glass and burns his arm on a hot toaster. Half the skin on his arm bubbles. Snow falls outside.

They called the hurricane a category five. It changed direction only miles off the coast. Movies don’t do justice to whole cities in desperation...He remembers the fear on everyone’s faces. He remembers the buildings melting away like leaves on a Fall tree. He is in awe. 

The smell of smoked meat makes its way inside. It is the weekend. A boy lies on his bed staring at the ceiling. Soon his father will be intoxicated and happy. He will call the boy outside, put him on his lap, and tell him he loves him. Sometime in between Friday night cookouts and Monday night beatings the boy learns not to speak. He learns to be still.

The boy now has siblings. Running away is not an option. What solace exists in leaving your tormentor with the people you love most on the planet?

The fire started in the kitchen. A boy and his father sit in the living room. The father watches a football game as he prepares dinner. The boy watches flames hug the upper cabinets. A minute later a frantic father phones 911 in vain. The two of them watch the small home burn to the ground as firefighters arrive...

In a dark room at the back of a trailer, a man punches a little boy in the face. The boy raises his arms to shield himself. The pummeling temporarily stops. The boy timidly looks up.

“Lower your arms," his father growls.

The boy looks incredulously at the man.

“Lower your arms," his father repeats.

The boy reluctantly lowers his arms and what life was left in him dies at nine years of age.

“...the Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit...” Psalm 34:18