(novel extract)(continuation for my first love)

~Sometimes in my mind I picture a quite, sensitive guy I want to be in love with not waving goodbye like a replication prompt. It’s like I was privillaged in the brief of the grounds and motives of my woe. In the swiftest hours of the desires of happiness decrease from the hills of love to the valleys of sorrow, but even though it is in my imaginary it takes me time to understand that it is only thoughts melting likely like footsteps in the sand of the road of destiny, while I walk on the street I remember how beautiful I was told but why is it difficult for me to find a descent guy to respect and appreciate who I am. The beauty I look torwards the visage of the sun spreading like a sunflower while  I see sorrow over hath power in my eyes lips sealed with curios secrecy affectedly enswathed.

For my authorised youth I did livery see falseness in the pride of truth. But I still put on my smile like I have a boyfriend , while my heart is singing the song born to praise pain , my qualities are beauties as my form. Just a guy who is maiden –tongued might not be a heartbreaker but gay . it’s better than a guy  who’s nice and whose phoenix does not appear until it’s too late like an unshorn velvet on a  term less skin. To appertainings and to ornament his real habitude shall be revealed before it costs  more dear.

Sometimes I picture myself writing a letter around a guy going like

Dear life

~“to every place at once ,
 I once loved a man, an anon their
 Gazes lend, my levell’d eyes
 Diverted their poor balls tied
 To the orbed earth,
 While sorrow hath
 Power, my heart beat is a song born
 To praise pain because I was broken,
‘cause a guy I once loved was gone
 Left me with a broken smile,
 But what largeness thinks in paradise
 Is sawn.”

But my fear for the end makes me walk away with a broken smile, while eyes are drowning in the waters of sorrow, the ‘tears’.