online dating

So I'll just say she was and still is the most amazing person I ever met. We met at a online sex chat website, I know so romantic right? But that night we were both just talking, he had clearly been hurt by somebody. I'm such a sucker to help people especially a women in distress. My therapist says it's like a white knight yndrom. But something about her was different even from the internet her kindness radiated from the pages as I read her replies. I have to meet this girl I told me self shes too amazing to let go. Neither one of us wanted to sighn off that night. So before the midnight shut off on the site I got her number. When we called each other we were both very nervous. She said she liked my voice, it sounded kind. I thought she sounded like an angel we stayed up until 4 am just alking about anythign we could think of. I told myself I have to meet this girl. weeks went by and our interets in eachother never waned. She was holding back something, what it was I could not tell. Once day we were talking about 10 o clock but she said she had to do ome work around the houe and I did not want to be a distraction. So I let her get on with her work. about 5 hours went by when I got a phone call from a person who was her friend, I had talked with this person before o I recognised them. SHe asked me if I knew what happened to thi girl I had admittedly begin to love, in a way I could not explain but I did in fact love her. Her friend sarah said that the girl I had been talking to her house was broken into by her ex boy friend and she was thrown down the stairs, then raped while she was unconcious, I told her if she didnt want to talk to me she didnt have to be so sick about it, only it was not a joke. This actually happened, this sick fuck named chris did this, I did my best to be a supporting friend as time went on it became more clear that dating this girl was not a option, as she quickly began to spiral downward through stress, fear and additional home break ins and attempts on her life. she did not know but I wasn't instantly convinced I had a person look her up, to see if she was who she said she was, for all I knew she could be some sick person looking for attention, I had been hurt so many times before I didnt want to be hurt again. Unfortunatly I should say, it was all true. there  was more still as I would talk to her and try to help her through things, her mom would haras her and call her a liar, beat her down with words. I had seen her behavior before with a friend I had who years later when he killed himself we found out his unkle molested him. I still loved her even though deep down I knew I could not be with her in the way I wanted, so I found a way to make her smile. No matter how bad her day was or how horrific her dreams became I discovered my gift for stories, she loved them. It made me happy that as I told her of tales of happier times the fear in her voice went away and I could hear her joy as she commented on the tales I told her. Konan the penguin was one of them I literally invented hundred of those just to help her sleep, also the beautiful maiden. the adventures of coffee and creamer (2 dog) belle the adventurer  But I had pain in my life too. I found that the more happy loving stories I told, the greater the hole in my chest became, it was like I was sacrificing my happiness to make her happy. I litterally began to die, I ate less and never really got any decent sleep. every night she slept soundly I awwoke exausted. I got nothing out of this relationhip other than the satisfaction of making her happy. For some reason making her happy made me more happy than any other women in my life had before, selfish people would judge me, but I don't care. Even after being raped and treated like dirt by her mom she still was kind and loving, she even forgave the man who raped her.refering to him as a man is a stretch after she was raped she began therapy, and certain things came to light like the fact he would invite other people over uually 5 at a time and threaten her with guns to fuck his friends, if she still refused hed knock her out with hi bare hands and do it anyway. From what I understand the guy was a heavy coke and steroid user. Luckily he was a idiot, and I am a genius. using just psychology and the information she gave me I was able to keep her safe by directing her were to be and when so whenever he tried to break in or attack her she would not be there for him to hurt. I tried and tried to get her to tell me were he lived but she refused, she was afraid if I knew I would get hurt trying to help her. So I found out anyway. I hired a P.I. I was so delusional that I told myself I will kill this bastard for hurting her (what was I thinking) SO I found out were he lived and learned his schedual, I had discovered a couple times when I could kill him. I had such rage toward him and he was not going to jail fast enough. I bought a really big knife, figured I would take him from behind, melt the knife down afterwords. and turn it into a tacky silverware set afterwords and donate it to charity, Burn my clothes and get back home before the day was over. I saw him each time that I had discovered I could kill him but each time, I never went through with it. I questioned myself. Am I a coward, I said no otherwise  Iwouldnt be at his house waiting for him. I found out every fiber of me knew If I killed him she would never forgive me. So I went home and never told her how close I was. I never went to see her and I have moved onto other relationships since then. But still today she calls me on weekends and asks for a story and I happily make it for her because I love her in a way I have never loved anyone before, call me insane or weird but she is really incredible and it paid off because that horrible person who hurt her is in jail and is now a prison bitch now called chrissy, and I have a list of the other men involved and I am in my free time going after them to make sure they meet their retribution. Nothing may come of this but I could not live with myself goign on in life while I allow someone I know go through such pain without me trying my all to help them, no matter how tedious it is.

For you

my one true love