Raindrops: A Story of Life and Circumstance ; Chapter Six: The Water Bearer (( Part 1/2 ))

 The campus was truly massive. It may have alluded to its true size in the brochure, but It wasn't nearly as accurate as I thought it would be. The sprawling green was bordered by a ring of trees, tall and ancient, their branches swaying in the breeze that blew our hair back. The buildings built up into the hills around the town, the library and its viewing tower at the top of it all. The administration areas were situated to the northern half of the university, with student facilities in the southern portion. It was a quiet place, The buildings not open as the summer drew to an end. Apparently, we weren't the only ones who hadn't gotten the memo and came early, as small groups of students mulled about, all enjoying the sights as we were. It was a nice change of Pace, to just relax and sightsee, something you really couldn't do in the middle of a large city like Seattle. Unlike the city though, all of the good places weren't flooded by nosy; dumbfounded tourists. I looked over to see that same dumbfounded and awestruck expression on Natalie as she took in the campus from the top of the library hill. Correction: There was only one tourist here. It still felt nice to see her smile as she stood on top of the steep hill, wind blowing around her. She looked truly happy, and I wouldn't begrudge her that. 

 "Is it like this every day, I wonder... She sighed contentedly. "This is really nice weather. I've missed it." She frowned slightly at the small clouds scurrying across the sky, as If shooing them away mentally. I chuckled slightly at the vexation she poured into that look as the unfortunate cloud in question left over the horizon. She turned to me, eyebrow raised and smile quirking up.  "You got something to say?" I raised my hands up.

 "Nope, nothing at all." I smiled and took her hand. She blushed a little more but didn't pull away or tense. That was good. I didn't want to make it seem awkward. It felt... comforting, to have her hand in mine as we started down the hill, slightly smiling to ourselves. The sun was nice and warm that day, not too hot, but just enough to offset the chill of the wind. I sighed slightly, enjoying the feeling of the sunlight. Natalie looked at me quizzically from the side of her eyes.

 "Don't feel the sun often, do you?" I shook my head. It was always raining, or overcast, or I was inside, or I had found some other excuse NOT to go out and enjoy it. she laughed quietly. "I guess not, you're as pale as a sheet of paper." I glared at her, pride stung.

 "Are you insulting my complexion?" She laughed even harder before smiling brightly at me, looking into my eyes. 

 "I don't know, but it suits you. It goes nice with your other features." I blushed slightly, not quite comprehending What she meant. "A rather mysterious blend, long, black hair framing a pale expression, deep in thought, piercing blue-green eyes staring into your soul..." I blushed even deeper at the way she said it, in a high and lofty voice, as If reading aloud from one of her soppy romance books. 
 "You got that from one of your novels, didn't you." She pouted slightly, defeat in her eyes, overshadowed by merriment and faux despair.

 "Alas, I've been found out. What cruel irony is this!" She continued on in an even heavier thematic voice, and a slight elizabethan era accent. "Whatever might mine heart do at such inept minds in league with thoughts of my own?" I laughed at her hilarious and comical interpretations, and she held her hand to her forehead as if heartbroken.

 "And now to feel the bitter sting of thine merriment at my expense. Forsooth, now I am fain." She slowly opened one eye and started to laugh with me. I caught my breath and let myself be absorbed by the light sky blue and cyan colors dancing around her eyes. No grey. I wondered if the steel hues only appeared when she was serious... She noticed my stare and blushed slightly, her mouth curling into a coy smile. "Are you so enraptured by my gaze that you can't talk?" I winked and nodded. Her smile softened slightly, and the light blues became more muted. 

 "I think that probably happens to a lot of people. You have very pretty eyes, you know." Her smile faltered slightly, and a new shade of royal blue began to creep over her iris. I stared transfixed as It appeared before flashing away as if it had never existed. She closed her eyes and breathed out as her smile perked up again. 

 "Thanks." Her voice mas much softer, and less energetic. I smiled myself, trying to cheer her up. 

 "So, where are we going first?" She opened her eyes and pondered to herself as we continued to walk down the hill.

 "I hear the fountain's really quite beautiful in the morning. We could go there first. I think it would be fun to see the gardens too. What a decision." I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

 "Or you know, we could go to BOTH." She deadpanned and laughed nervously.

 "Yeah, I guess I didn't think of that..." She awkwardly cleared her throat. "So, Have you thought about what you're going to do for the next two weeks? I mean, so much more time than I thought I'd have." I stared at her quizzically. Was she asking if I was going to ditch her? Was she THAT concerned?

 "Well, unless you decide you don't like having me around, it wouldn't hurt to just stick with you, right?" She smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

 "No problem there. I was just afraid I would have to spend all that time alone... In a new city..." I frowned slightly and squeezed her hand for comfort. She did think I was going to leave her alone. It wasn't like I'd known her for too long, but she seemed like she needed me, and I genuinely enjoyed her company. She smiled back hesitantly, trying to play it down.

 "Look, Natalie, I'm not going to drop you by the side of the road, I promise." she took a breath in, before letting out a sigh, and the smile on her face became genuine. She squeezed my hand back.

 "Thank you. I haven't had an actual friend in a long time, and I wasn't sure if you were just putting up with me or not." She lowered her head shamefully. "I hope you can forgive me for doubting you. It's just... been so long..." Her voice slowly deflated, and a tiredness took over her. I took my arm and wrapped around her waist, pulling her to me as we walked. She stumbled a bit, and caught herself on my shoulder before beginning to blush wildly.

 "I'll stick with you, Okay?" She nodded, a faraway look in her royal blue eyes. She seemed genuinely grateful as she leaned on me slightly. I took it in stride. It seemed she needed me just as much as I needed her. It was a comforting thought, although it seemed so wrong to me.  I had always gone against my problems alone, even after the worst of it had passed. I still remembered the long nights in the dark, crying in the loneliness of my room. Even after I'd met Aunt Vi, It had still taken weeks to bring myself to talk to anyone. Even then, I'd stayed away, too afraid to get close to anyone. But it looked like Natalie could understand, or at least handle, what I felt. Something even my childhood friends couldn't do. They'd just wanted to know how I felt. They didn't accept it. They'd wanted to wait until I returned to normal. It was nice to have someone to ride it out with... I hugged her more closely.

 "I'm glad I met you, Maddie." I laughed quietly.

 "I am too." She snuggled closer against me as we reached the crosswalk, where a small group of guys waited for the light to change on the pedestrian sign. A few looked at Natalie and Me with raised eyebrows, but mostly remained silent. Natalie was still oblivious, but I noticed and grew slightly annoyed at their stares and knowing grins. "Can I help you?" I directed to the most openly direct starer, a tall man with dirty blonde hair and a gleam in his brown eyes that made most girls start running. I refused to back down as a grin opened up into a lascivious smirk. I resisted the urge to shudder.

 "No, not at all. It's just a real shame that all the pretty ones end up in the wrong beds." He raked a gaze over us that made me strongly want to punch him. Natalie stiffened below me. "Of course," he continued, "If you ever change your mind ,blondie, ditch this one and I'll be waiting with open arms and..." her glare cut him off, but instead of being intimidated, he simply smiled wider. "A feisty one. Perfect..." I drew myself up to yell at him personally, drawing an amused glance from his upturned eyes, but one of the other guys beat me to it.

 "Cut it out James. There's no reason to pick on them like that." The glare turned to the speaker, making him shrink back in fear and supplication. Jame's eyes drifted back to me and I focused deeply on staying calm and not kicking the too-perfect white teeth he bared from his head. The light changed above us and he smirked before turning around and motioning to the others, who quietly followed behind him. Instead of following, I nudged Natalie and began walking across the sidewalk on the right of us. She followed, still tucked against me. I unconsciously gripped tighter, the look in his eyes playing through my head.

 "You okay, Natalie?" I quietly asked under my breath. She released the breath she'd been holding before deflating and shuddering. I strengthened my hold and she seemed to recover slightly.

 "I hate guys like that." She shivered violently, making me wonder if something had happened to her... Whether something had or not, she'd seemed very scared when he'd addressed her.

 "So do I." Not that I'd had much trouble with them. My boyfriend and father had scared most of them away quite quickly. My breath caught a bit but I shook through it.

 "Yeah, but It seems I attract them like a fly to honey." I looked down at her conscientiously, trying to find the right words to ask the question I wanted so desperately to ask. I didn't know quite how to phrase it...

 "So you've..." She nodded, not letting me finish the thought. She took a deep shuddering breath, as if going through unpleasant memories. I started to let go of her to face her, but she held tighter to me as tears started to flow.

 "My first boyfriend, he was... not the best." I clenched at the tone of fear in her voice, as well as the feeling in her words. A small fire built in the pit of my stomach, becoming more severe with every tear that fell. I began to breath deeply to calm myself down. I didn't like the suggestion in her voice.

 "Did he..." She quickly shook her head.

 "No, it never got that far, but... Most girls remember their first kiss as a happy memory... I spent the rest of the night crying and shaking after mine." As if to accentuate that, she curled in on herself a bit in my arms, shuddering violently. Suddenly, I felt like going back to that crosswalk and decking James in his perfect teeth. No particular reason, but It was sorely tempting. I unclenched my fists and stopped walking, putting my arms around Natalie, letting her bury her head against me as the tears worked their way out. After a moment or two, she took a steadying breath and pulled away slightly. She looked at the tear stains on my shirt and laughed brokenly, sniffling as she composed herself. "I guess we're even now, aren't we?" I returned with a smile, still trying to blanket the small wildfire roiling around my core. I didn't care who it was, or how Natalie felt about them. Anyone who did that to her again would not be very lucky for very long.

 "Yeah, I guess so." I didn't care about the shirt. It would dry quickly in the sun. She on the other hand, still looked like she was going to cry. I pulled her back to me softly, and I put my hand against the small of her back. She seemed to unwind a little bit, sighing against me. 

 "You don't have to do this. I'll be fine." I laughed quietly to myself.

 "Look, If I can break down into a broken shamble and start hallucinating against you, a few tears don't really seem like all that much of an inconvenience to me." She grinned and dried up the last of  the moisture from her face. 

 " In that case, maybe I didn't do enough." I snickered.

 "Do you want me to tell you I love you, too?" She blushed and her smile broadened. 

 "I daresay that's going to be a requirement." I laughed and took her hand again, leading her towards the sounds of running water. She followed happily, a content look replacing the goofy smile. We rounded the corner, crossing through an ivy-covered archway into a quiet little pocket of the campus. It was a small courtyard, oriented around a central fountain, lunch tables and benches spread all around. Small novelty and tourist shops faced inward on the peaceful scenery, windows stocked with colorful products and school merchandise. The fountain itself was very interesting. It was just modern enough that you could tell it was made recently, but artfully decorated in such a way that it seemed like a classic masterpiece. Water flowed smoothly from an artfully carved woman's urn, spilling down and around her before eventually falling off of her pedestal into the lower basin. It was almost entrancing to see the shimmer of it as it sparkled in the sunlight.

 Natalie quietly pulled me to the center of the square to stare into the water cascading gently into the still pool. It couldn't be lost on me, as she stared serenely, that her eyes had become the color of the water, quietly reflecting and magnifying the deep Mediterranean blue hue. It was calming to see the stress drain from her as she stared into the water and slowly breathed out. I put a hand on her shoulder and sat on the edge of the fountain. She followed me and quietly sat there, listening to the sounds of the water falling.

 "Is it wrong that I still loved him?" I took a breath in as the dark blue began to swirl again. I scooted next to her and put my arm around her. I sighed and looked down. I was NOT the right person to do this.

 "No, I don't think so. Love makes us do crazy things." She nodded before quietly returning her gaze to the still pool.

 "I loved each and every one of them. And I loved her too." I internally jumped. Did she mean... what I thought she did? I blushed slightly as all the things I had said clicked into a differently tinted light. Thankfully, saving me from my mortification, she continued. "She was my best friend, and meant the world to me. I loved her." I sighed inwardly, relieved to not have to deal with THAT awkward situation. "And yet... It still hurts to think about her. Do you have that happen? You can't think of them without feeling shattered?" I looked at her with surprise before nodding.

  She laughed tiredly. "Yeah, your sister, right. I saw the look you had when you reacted the other day." She breathed out. "I really should apologize for that. I know how it feels now, to break like that." I squeezed her comfortingly.

 "You don't have to..."

 "I know how it feels to lose someone that meant the world to you. That's why I listened to you." I froze, uncomprehending. She'd lost someone? I thought back to her moment at the Café. I dimly remembered her saying something about it.

 "Who was she?" Natalie looked into my eyes, hers a deep blue color. 

 "My best friend in the world, Nicole." I nodded and waited for her to continue. "She meant everything to me. In more ways than one. We'd always been together. Went everywhere together. And then..." She froze and her eyes drifted, as if mulling something over. "And then we couldn't see each other anymore. The last time I saw her, It was the first time in months, my father finally let her come back. She looked so broken. She wouldn't touch me, shied away from me, couldn't look me in the eye." A silent tear crossed Natalie's face. "I did nothing. I watched and waited. I should have... should have listened, tried harder, stayed with her..." Natalie's voice broke as a fresh wave of tears cascaded down. I pulled her close again, and she quietly sobbed against me. "I should have.... done something. But... I didn't. I did NOTHING!" She cried out, her voice raising in anger or grief, I couldn't tell. "She told me good night... And smiled at me the way... she always had. I should have seen... the look in her eyes." She broke then, losing all control and posture as she slumped down onto me. "I didn't find her... until the morning." She spoke in quiet gasps as horror overrode her grief. I think I knew where this was going, but couldn't stop Natalie from reliving every moment of it.

 "It's okay. It's okay..." I tried to copy her, calming her the way she'd done to me last night. I hugged her close, patting her hair. I didn't know if it was working, but the world seemed to slow down slightly, the air becoming quiet and peaceful. I felt a calmness build around the two of us.

 "It was... my fault." I recognized that phrase. It was one I'd repeated to myself every time I thought of Luke. I knew where it led, and what it truly meant to us.

 "No It wasn't." I spoke, but It registered in a double timbre. I was too focused to care. In the same voice, I continued. "It wasn't your fault Natalie. She loved you very much, but there was nothing you could have done. You didn't know." Natalie slowly stopped sobbing, and relaxed into my arms. I took that as a success. "If it helps, I love you." I blinked. I hadn't meant to say that, but the moment I did, Natalie finally stopped crying, and I shrugged off the confusion. if it worked it worked. She pulled away and sat up straight, restoring a carefully maintained smile.

  "Huh, I guess I, uh, should apologize for that. But, thanks, I guess." I could see the pain behind her smile, and felt a flash of recognition. Was this how I looked to everyone else? No wonder everyone asked if I was alright...

 "No, no fair. If I get to emotionally abuse you without getting to feel bad about it, Neither can you. " She laughed as her expression began to warm up again. I felt better exponentially as her eyes stopped brimming with tears. "Besides, I'm... here for you too. You know that, right." She nodded.

 "I guess so. Thanks Maddie. I'm glad I can count us both being crazy sometimes. I wouldn't want you to feel alone, after all.." I smiled and we hugged each other, two broken souls in the same place, recognizing each other for the first time. For the first time... I didn't feel alone, and I couldn't help but wonder if Natalie was feeling the same thing.

 "Am I interrupting something again?" We looked up to see Sarah staring frostily at us from the archway she'd just passed through. I shrank back a bit as the air dropped a few degrees. I suddenly felt very, very exposed under her glare. Natalie shrank too, and I placed myself warily in front of her. Something seemed off. None of the quiet mirth that Sarah had showed us earlier was present, nothing but the Ice in her expression peeking through. "I hope you enjoyed your walk." She practically snarled. I stared at her quietly, not sure what to do.

 "I'm sorry, If we did something..." Sarah chuckled quietly, chuckling cynically to herself.

 "If you did something... You two really are clueless aren't you? Too absorbed in each other to think about others, huh?" If I was confused before, it was doubly so now. She stared at me and a slow frost seemed to spread across my soul as she opened her mouth again to speak. "I just left the Café after helping Dolores stop crying." I froze, literally and figuratively, my mind coming to a stop before going to overdrive. What had I done?

 "Crying? What, what did we do to make her cry?" Sarah bored her eyes into mine, rooting me to the spot.

 "Dolores is very lonely, do you know that? She doesn't get any visitors besides me before school starts, and even then, she'd too busy to talk to anyone. She was so happy when I brought you two in to see her." I gulped. "And then you ate your food, and ran off. She thought you hadn't liked her." Natalie started crying again and Sarah froze, her cool expression breaking somewhat. She walked around me and sat next to Natalie, her expression turning from cold fury to worry.

 "Hey, Blondie, you alright?" I glared darkly at her. I knew exactly how it felt to answer that question. Quietly, I pulled Natalie to my other side, switching places with her as she doubled over crying again. Sarah's eyes widened and she looked at me, worry and regret written into her face. Sarah tried to speak, but I silenced her with a dark and murderous glare. She shut up and leaned back in fear. I turned to Natalie and pulled her into my arms again. This time, she didn't resist at all, falling against me. I patted her hair, shushing softly.

 "I'm... sorry...Sarah." Sarah's eyes drooped and she spoke quietly, despite the 'shut up' look I threw her way last minute.

 "I didn't mean to make you cry, Natalie. I feel terrible now... " I wanted so bad to slap her right then as Natalie buried herself on my shoulder again. Sarah backed away, eyes fearful, tearing up at the edges. I glared at her, and she looked like I'd stabbed her through the heart as I growled at her.
 
"Just go." I spoke calmly and evenly, not wanting to upset Natalie any further. Sarah turned and ran, not even responding. I would deal with her later. I picked up Natalie in my arms, her sobs breaking as I swept her up and began walking out of the Plaza.

 "He...Hey wha.." I readjusted my grip on her, not wanting to let myself drop her. "What are... you doing?" I smiled at her, letting a little bit of the sunshine filter through my emotions.

 "WE are going to go to the Library and read some soppy romance novels." She looked at me as if I'd grown a second head, although the tears were slowly starting to go away. She finally sighed and looked me in the eyes, puppy-like pleading and innocence in them.
 
"You mean it?" I nodded and she relaxed into my arms, putting her head against my shoulder. "Alright then. But you made me cry. You're carrying me there." I groaned quietly to Myself. If it made her happy though... With a sigh, I started the long haul uphill.
                                                                                              ---
CONTINUED IN PART 2