Sense of love

"Within those two years, he managed to repair and then break my heart again maybe a thousand times.
Our relationship was a series of constant train wrecks that somehow we always ended up surviving, together, hand in hand.
The definition of 'us' was thrilling and exotic, but dangerous and destructive at the same time.
One day we hated each other - 'fuck you, don't ever talk to me again'.
But the very next day we needed each other - 'I love you, I miss you, stay with me.'
We were toxic to each other, yet, brought peace to each other at the same time - makes no sense right? I know.
I'm still trying to make sense of it myself.