some kinda Christmas

some kind of Christmas

It was Christmas Eve, and I had planned to go out with my friend, to a local pub for a Christmas Disco.  I would not be drinking, which is not an issue.  I have many times gone out with friends in town, and not had a single alcoholic drink, just swayed with the fumes off the others.  It is strange how you successfully trick your body into thinking you are tipsy, I found it very easy to fall in the ambient mood..of silliness.  On this night I had also had an early Christmas Dinner at my friends house, who had decided that on this Christmas Day she was going to paint her living room.  This has a somewhat subconscious meaning, and you would understand if you knew her.  I had another friend who was 'as mad as cheese' and only ever ate egg and chips on Christmas day.. and not goose egg nor free range, bog standard caged hen eggs and frozen chips.  I believe it is a kick back at what is expected of us..and for some reason I am drawn to these people.  They are unique quirks of life..and I love them.  This disco thing, well we drove down to The Blacksmiths ..me with my christmas dinner hat still on half mast all night.  I didn't see why I needed to remove it.  It's like, the jewelery that I dont wear.  At one time I was laden with gold, bracelet, bangles, chains and gold pennies, sovereigns and the such.  They were a sign that I could afford to waste money of useless pieces of metal.  My hat was a sign that I didnt care that I was wearing it, for it changes me not, however gold is a display of false wealth.  If you need to wear it you are one step away from wearing fur, a sign of cruelty and uncaring to the suffering of others, or just a sign that we never bothered to think about what we wear.  My hat served me well, nobody came six foot near me in that place, I could dance my heart out in peace from being pestered.  I have a story about being pestered, my egg and chips friend was once pestered in a pub with sexual advances, she drew the entire enssamble of the pub to a halt by shouting " Any body in here want a shag ? come on dont be shy, anyone want a shag ? because THIS guy HERE is looking for one " Hats off to her, or rather  Hats on to her! my friend my dear friend...I went on a motorbike rally with her, in a small pop up tent one might find at music festivals..Come the night I was slightly enibriated and cimbed in, only to wake up early hours in the dark, not knowing where I was, thought I was in a tunnel, couldn't breath, ended up with my lips to a small vent sucking air for dear life, I thought I was dying, wanted to go to the toilet but oops was too late and emerged rather unladylike to an audience of laughing biker dudes.  Remind me..pop up tents are not for me...I need a pop up marquee or the like.  This disco, well I couldnt tell my friend being that it was Christmas and she had made a lovely Christmas Dinner, that my kids had booked a log cabin in York, and were expecting me there that night.  I am very organised if I have notice, I  didnt want to let anybody down, so I had agreed to go to the log Cabin, after this disco night with my friend that we had planned for two months.  I believe we booked a taxi back from the pub, my friend was dropped off before me.  I told the taxie driver that I was now driving to York, which was about fifty miles away.  He looked at me, dressed in my christmas dress still complete with dinner party hat, and laughed. " in that state ?"  
"yes, actually I haven't had a drink at all"  I said.  " I'm not drunk under all this" I don't think he believed me. What do taxie drivers know ? they think they know everything!       I picked up my packed bag, that also contained my uniform as I was due at work Christmas day night, back in Doncaster. I had my Mrs Christmas fancy dress which I made and wear every year, my grandchildren love it, we all dress up  in Christmas dress.  I found an old pattern of a Victorian apron, and bought some bright red Christmas print cotton, its very full, you only have to wear the apron over a t shirt and some leggings, it has bells on it ,,bows and flashing lights, I love it and so do my grandchildren.  I picked up my sat nav and the address of the log cabin site near York and set off.
  Two hours later I was lost, it was now 2 .00 am.  I found myself on early  Christmas morning driving in light snow, my sat nav didn't show the place I needed to be, my phone was dying ..I rang my son, who sounded like he was having a party and he gave me directions that didnt mean anything.  I looked at my diesel tank and it was low, and getting lower.  It wasn't long before my phone died, and I was still on this road  between York and Selby.  There comes a time in every cool..in control persons life when panic begins to kick in.  I could sense it ticking over in the corner.  It was tapping me on the shoulder saying " what you gonna do when the fuel runs out"  I am usually an ace at directions, sometimes I go places and I feel I have been there before, maybe it's intuition, I went to the end of that long road ( about ten miles long) and turned back again, it had now started to snow harder, tip tap tapping on the glass of my dilema. Nobody was about not a soul in sight.  Then I saw the lights of a car coming towards me.  I flashed my lights and the car drew along side, it was a taxie, with just a man in it, an Asian man.
" can you help me, Im so afraid I wont find this place where my family are" I only rolled my window down slightly..I have seen movies like this, I didnt want to be an Hills Have Eyes victim.
" don't worry lady tell me where you looking"
"Yellow Top Country Park..I've been driving for three hours!"
I was at this point, to my inner dismay almost crying..
"don't worry lady, you will find it, listen to me..listen..keep going that way, when you come to the bend look..there are two huge bears..turn there..when you see the bears turn"
" thankyou, thankyou,  who would think, I would see a taxie driver at this time in the morning"
" best time lady, best time for taxie..take care and dont worry you will find"
it was strange..it was almost as if he had been sent to me..he drifted off into the snow, I saw him vanish in my rear view mirror.
I was joyous..and I vowed I would never disregard a taxie driver ever again, as long as I lived they would be revered in my heart.  I drove a further two miles, avidly looking for huge bears, which I found with joy..and free wheeled down the lane to the Log Cabin Park.  It is then that I realised I didnt have the number of the lodge..but spurred by success I knew I only had to drive around the park endlessly until I saw their cars, which didnt take long.  I headed for the lodge that was illuminated like Blackpool.  Knocking on the door proved useless I proceeded to where the noise was and all four of them were in the hot tub at four in the morning.  Within minutes I was too..in deep water again..Thankfully the sweet grandchildren were fast asleep waiting for Santa.  I had four hours sleep after that..before bedlam hit and present opening began.  Each Christmas is different. I enjoyed this snippet of their Christmas, after a fabulous dinner I had to head back to Doncaster to be at work for nights travelling the borough.  It had snowed again, I left on my Mother Christmas fancy dress and turned up to work nights with the Local Authority in full Mrs Kriss Kringle attire.  The manager didn't bat an eye..I think they have grown used to me...time to change.

Merry Christmas friends of Cosmo