Song of rejection . ..

A room, with four walls, a window and a door. And yes a cupboard, where i hide myself when the eyes of the world start burning my skin. 
They say, go out, make friends, have fun. Was it not that that day i agreed with them and went with him? I went with him, decorated they sent me. His eyes didnt see the decoration, may be they; his eyes were busy seeing the structure named 'female body' beneath it. Unaware I was!
That day i went alone with him, i left 'me' behind. I was alone.
I took him to my old hamlet of love where scribbled were my former beloved's and my sighs of love. I wept, i cried in pain ... while he consoled me and comforted me. All of a sudden he was stinking of love. I said him that he was stinking of love and i love the smell. He smiled and made me happy.
The second and the third meeting.. 
He didnt pretend, he couldn't. He was himself too. I tore down his garment of pretension. Now he was naked. He insisted me to take off my garment. Amazed by my art of truthfulness, he wanted to see me, know me.
I agreed. I took of my cloth. He turned his face away from me. He was silent but i could hear all his screams .... 'wear it back , wear it back. I cant see this. I cant see this'.

Sadnees smiled in me. I slowly put back my cloth and walked away.
How could he see? All is dark in me. Every part of my body is inflicted. Somewhere rejection.. somewhere abandonment , somewhere humiliations .. all glittering in dark pain.. screaming love love. The wounds now starting rotting. My body was stinking of desperation.
How could he see me?
I walked away. Back to my room, inside my cupboard, cursing the world, cursing them, cursing myself.
                            ~ a rejected woman