The Carnivorous Chickens.

Carnivorous(car ni vore us): verb. To be involved, or take part in carnival activities.

Example sentence: 'The clown enjoyed carnivorous activities, but only after he ate his lettuce sandwich, as he was a vegetarian.'

Hi,
My name is Ima, Ima Sakapupu, and this is my first post on here. I'm sure you want to know a little bit about me, so I'll type it here, and you can read it.
I'm from a little place called Bramaitt's Hewn, and have recently sold many of my single socks on eBay, as I'm inclined to wearing two. Socks. They're so mysterious in their disappearances. I invented the belt. Some people say that it's been around much longer than I have, but I tend to disagree, and am currently seeking a patent on it, if anyone has one. I was formerly a pare grower in Mulvinville, but after many years of toiling, I realized I had spelled the homonym incorrectly, and was just growing the peeled part of the pear. I was beside myself with anguish, but then realized that it was actually Marfin Boodles next to me, and I felt a little better...until he tried to hit on me.
The story I'm proposing here is one of regret, also, as you will see. The Carnivorous Chickens was a story my grammy(Ura Sakapupu) used to tell me each night before I went to bed. Eventually, after hearing it so many times, I would put a carboard cutout of me in bed, and slip off to the Off Track Betting parlor in Fleeneyville, but it's lessons still rang true to me, and my cardboard counterpart. Here is the story:

The Carnivorous Chickens

Once upon a cornfield smeary, three chickens wandered, sad and weary. The fun had fleeted from their lives, and though they owned three Oldsmobiles, not one knew how, or where, one drives. 'What can we do to spice our days?' the chickens wondered, quite dismayed. 'Perhaps a festival of pants? Or living with a guy named Lance?'

So, the chickens gathered all their money together($11.15), and set out to purchase a vocation to enhance their miserable existence. As luck would have it, they foraged upon a sign, and though they could not read, read it aloud. 'One fully equipped Carnival for sale, $11.15, or best offer.' They were shocked, but also hungry, and decided to have a tuna fish sandwich. The tuna was deliciously prepared, just the right amount of mayo versus tuna, and really fresh bread, however, the date on the can had been slightly off kilter, and a few of them had some minor reservations about eating it.
That next day, on the previous Monday, they purchased the carnival! It was a beautiful carnival, with clowns(or is that a circus? Da*n! Pretend it's a carnival!), games, things that made honking noises, a bulletin board, some syphignoid things, a Turkish ambassador, and Marmalade(an elderly Irish Setter with mange). They opened on the 39th day of February, but did not do too well, until they purchased a new calendar(the one they currently owned was purchased from Acme(on a tip from Wile E. Coyote), and while the shoppe(yes, I may be British) threw in a free anvil, the calendar was highly defective, but they had not noticed until they turned over to the month of Octember.
The children loved the carnival, and shouted out with glee 'Marmalade the mange encrusted Setter, you'll go down in history!' It was sublime(they kept the limes in the attic).
But then one night, it happened...Jackie Chan came no more(oh, I forgot to tell you, Jackie Chan was a big draw as he did karate exhibitions, and often kicked 'bad' kids in the leg area), and Luff that mighty Carnival Manager, ceased his knick knack store. This incident caused tremendous financial stress on the carnival, as the sale of 30 cent stuffed animals for $15.99, was a major source of revenue for the chickens.
Broke, and mentally unstable, the chickens decided to go into optometry, and opened a glasses hut named Chicken Eyes. Unfortunately, they failed, as many people who did not have their glasses yet, thought it read Chicken Thighs, and the crowds ate them.
(And here's where the regret came in). The chickens, to this day, regret closing the carnival, as they now know that a subsidiary of Walmart stores, had opened a stuffed animal shoppe(am I English? Hmmm...) in the outskirts of town, and they could have purchased the items for pennies on the dollar, if they had just been paying attention. The end.

Anyway, I think you can see why my carboard cutout of me always cries when he sees a carnival in town. I will never see the carnival the same again...especially after those people ate my optometrist.

It's so nice to meet you all on here!

Love,

Ima.