The Square

I sat at the kitchen table with a book in my hand while my mother was buzzing like a bee hovering over my shoulder, just trying to see what I was doing. In an instant, she must have released her queen bee scent to the colony out of distress, and out came the rest of the colony in a spear formation, out to get me. My little sister, Hannah marched right in, keeping the tempo set with the marching of her feet: heel, toe, heel, toe, heel… a replica of our mother. My older twin brothers followed with their hair smoothed to perfection and without a wrinkle to be seen on any garment of clothing. Neven and Otto marched like the princes they were depicted as, leading the way for our father: Bob. I remained on my stool, with the bored expression that is familiar to my family after they see me acting out of the current society’s norm.  Notice that I don’t say “our” society; as I do not wish to be associated with the flawlessness of life.
            I was brought into this world on the account that I was to keep the family tree in good name. I, Emme was brought into this world to fulfil a pattern, nothing more. I was created for The Square, as I call it. The Square is the pristine measures parents took to make sure that their children have the appearance of being elegantly flawless. Four children makes a square, representing the building block necessary to expand and to be strong. Each of the families’ squares build up the castle of our society. I was always reluctant to follow in our society’s traditions, which is why my family is so keen on correcting my impulsive measures.
            I try numerous ways to separate myself from this picture-perfect society. I wear white, which is the forbidden color because it is seen as common and boring, the worst you can be in this society. The youngest of the family is supposed to wear emerald green. The third child (me), is supposed to wear amber colored apparel. The second oldest wears ruby as the oldest wears sapphire. The wife of the household wears amethyst tones, with the king of the household wearing golden topaz. Whenever I receive a new shipment of clothing specified for my rank, I dart across the earth to the bank to scrub my clothing in the creek, and lay it out on a rock to start its fading process. I have a collection going of white dresses that started three years ago. I want to be resembled with white: I am a blank canvas, free to make mistakes, free to paint my own picture with the colors I want to use, not with what I am given.
            Reading books is a sign of attaining knowledge manually, which is weak and looked down upon. Nowadays, people gain information using the computer contact lenses given to you at birth. Any information you ever want to know is stored in there so you will always be knowledgeable about anything. I want to find out information myself; go out into the world and explore what the world has to offer. I want to make mistakes, that’s how you learn. I want to have to work my way around obstacles, experience difficulties in order to bring the best out of myself. Having things handed to you is boring. I cannot tell you how frustrated I get when I have the desire to make my own discoveries and obtain knowledge on my own while the person next to me has no desire to be intellectual and is exactly as intelligent as I am. I cannot express my strengths and weaknesses with other people because we are set up equally.
            I want love. In this society, love has faded away into the shadows of yesterday. Marriage arrangements are organized between people of the same work field that have the same compatibility scores taken when you are eighteen. You are paired up with another individual, randomly based on the work you are associated with. Society does this to eliminate the confrontations between couples, which is why there are no more divorces; people stay together because that is all they know. Comfort and stability is desired highly in order to be successful and blend in with the people around you. In society’s eyes, you are all treated equally: equal income, equal amount of children you can have, and equal knowledge.
            Where’s the diversity? I ask people what they think of me seeming as I am against their society. I get the same response every time; that I am a nice person and I come from a great family. That is all I get. I want to cry aloud! They are scared to cause a confrontation! We are meant to be different; where are the debates, where are the social groups? I look at my neighbor’s eyes: they are hazel while mine are green. Judge my looks, judge my character! Call me a name, and not my labeled palindrome name. Call me weird, call me crazy.
            I sit on this stool as my mother lowers herself to my level, looking at me with forgiving eyes and offered me clothes soaked in amber. I take them with a blank expression and go to my amber furnished room to fulfill my destiny as my part of being a building block of society. I don’t change because I am giving in, I change because I cannot be mad at my family for being the way that they are. They are brought about just like all other families in today’s society; I just happened to be different, created with a different mindset. I returned to my approving mother standing in the kitchen with a giant grin on her face. I glanced at my siblings and my father who give me encouragement and begin to reiterate the importance of the four children being the building blocks. I sit there blankly as I do every day after my family drills me on my differences. It’s a continuous cycle. Some days I feel like fighting back and arguing my point but today I keep my opinions in my head. I want acceptance, I really do, but this kind will have to do for now. Being isolated from society is not easy, believe me, but I do want to make my family happy, and today I choose to lay low but tomorrow’s another fight.