My Sunflower

My Sunflower
    I can still hear the sound of the pistol’s fire echoing in the hollows of my brain. I hear it piercing my ears on a daily basis. I look at other people as I walk around my hometown; some people stopping me to tell me how sorry they are that Avery has left this world, and others asking if I need anything. I remain expressionless, just as a chameleon hides his true colors on the inside. My expressions reflect what the public wants to see: a broken individual who has lost his best friend. I can still hear the remarks of the people that I pass by in my small town.
An old woman with a kind and gentle smile had once remarked, “You definitely had the pleasure of being Avery’s best friend. I’m sure you miss her. Bless your little heart.”
“Avery was such a sweet, lovely girl, I’m glad that she had someone like you in her life,” said a family friend of Avery’s.
“Don’t you worry Sawyer, she will still be that adventurous, happy-spirited girl, and she will never replace anyone as her best friend, not even in heaven. You loved and protected her like a little sister and I will always cherish that about you,” wept Avery’s mother at the funeral.
    I had watched Avery every moment I could since the day I was put in the same kindergarten class as her. Her hair was a pretty light brown color that went down her back in messy little curls. She had eyes that could make the most vibrant tree seem lifeless, as her eyes were ten times greener and more excited as she explored the world around her. I knew she was special since that first day I laid eyes on her, encouraging me to walk up to her with a flower in hand. She accepted it and told me of a place that grows the most beautiful sunflowers, a special place for just the two of us, just on the outskirts of town. This became our special place that we have always come to each and every day. She ran swiftly and nimbly around the giant sunflowers, as I struggled to keep up, eager to see where she was taking me. The little gaps of sunshine radiating down between the buds of the flowers beamed down upon Avery, illuminating her beautiful skin. She had a spotlight, as she was the star of nature’s creatures. I stood behind the flowers in awe, while she danced among the flowers, letting her wild side come out to match her crazy curls. My eyes light up at the sight of her happiness, which had become a daily ritual for eleven years: the best thing I had ever experienced, becoming her best friend.
...
“Sawyer, why do you come out here with me if all you do is sit back and watch me have all the fun?” Avery asks as she lays amongst the flowers, gazing up at the stars.
“I like to watch, the stage is only big enough for one star”.
“What do you mean?” questions Avery as she sits up and looks down at me, straight in the eyes.
    I sit up and push back the messy curls in her face, looking into those forest green eyes. “You’re beautiful, inside and out, not just because of your looks, but also from your curiosity in nature. It’s beautiful. It’s different. I love that about you.”
    She blushed deeply and looked away towards the flowers.
I gently pick up a flower and offer it to Avery, just like I had done eleven years prior in kindergarten. “Maybe this time is different,” I thought to myself.
She gladly accepts the flower, as I had placed it behind her ear, amplifying her beauty to be a goddess. Avery extends her hand to catch mine as she began to dance in the moonlight. I twirled her around, making her giggle. I swept her off her feet to hold her in a bridal position and spun her around, making her hold on tighter to my chest as she laughed. I had stopped and put her down and gently glided my hand to her chin, raising it slightly to look at her.
    “Uh, I um… Sawyer?” she stammered.
Her eyes were wide with astonishment, but something wasn’t right. I knew she loved me, I could tell; maybe she was nervous about her first kiss. I didn’t hesitate any longer: I cupped her chin and met her soft lips, expecting a passionate kiss. She stumbled back, her eyes focused on the ground.
    “A-Avery”, I stuttered, “I don’t understand, don’t you love me?”
    She had started to run away but my hand was faster and I snatched her wrist and pulled her back to look at me in the eyes. Her eyes were streaming tears, breaking my heart. “As if I even had a chance with her,” I had thought to myself.
    “Sawyer,” she said as her eyes connected with mine, “I do love you, but I’m having trouble at home, I can’t do this with you, I just need you as someone to support me and be someone I can rely on.”
    “Tell me what is going on; I’ll do anything I can to help you-”.
    “No, Sawyer, nevermind, forget I said any of this, I have to go now,” she said, ripping her eyes away from mine in distraught. I know this look, it’s all too familiar. I see it every day ten minutes before eight o’clock in the evening, when she declares that she must go home.
    “Why must you leave at this exact time every day, Avery?” I questioned as gently as I could.
    “I-I don’t”.
    “You stammer when you lie, Avery, tell me what’s going on at home,” I said as my heart rate picked up.    
    “Leave me alone Sawyer, my dad needs me home,” she said as her eyes welled up with water, looking disgusted. At this moment, I knew why she had to go home every single day at the same time.
    “Why, so he can keep touching you, huh? Is that why you go home in a hurry?” I said with my fists clenched.
    “What makes you say that, she just want me home safe and sound before it gets dark,” she said as still as glass, almost as if she had been trained to regurgitate this response.
    “As if- you like it don’t you. That’s why you won’t kiss me back or show your true feelings for me isn’t it?” I said, raising my voice, echoing within the trees.
    “Sawyer, don’t, it’s not like that-”.
    “You love your own stepfather for Pete’s sake! How could I have been so stupid,” my heart beat as fast as the words were flying out of my mouth.
    “Please let me go, he will be angry if I am not back on time, I don’t want to see him angry,” she begged.
    I couldn't believe what I had just heard. She just chose her own father over me. Her own father! I could have provided her with everything in the near future- love, a house, children. Those thoughts stopped abruptly as I pictured Avery’s stepfather’s face, with his thick black beard and piercing blue eyes, smirking at me. My emotions kicked into full throttle as I started thinking about all the times I had unknowingly let Avery slip out of my hands into her father’s every single day when she left to go home. For eleven years this had been going on, and I was oblivious until now. My heart skipped beats when I thought of how happy she was to be outside- it was her safe haven, away from her troubles, with me. My shoes grinded against the dirt; I threw rocks and punched the ground, screaming with horror and agitation, each action making Avery’s big eyes grow even bigger.
    I looked up, her dress was flowing as she was running away, back to her father- choosing him over me. I ran near our spot where we would lay down, pulled some of the brush aside and curved my fingers around Avery’s freedom. I stood up and watched as my best friend ran down our little paved path we made together- as I watched her run, she seemed to get smaller, like she was preparing for kindergarten all over again, her growing more innocent, as I was becoming more guilty.
    I thought no more, as I watched Avery fall to the ground, never to run away from her problems again. She is free, as I took her burden onto my shoulders. I smiled my last smile and turned into a chameleon for the rest of my life- expressionless.