Time Typically Wasted

I, Adrian Geraghty, awoke with vigorous shock one pale morning and realised my eyes didn’t need to be open for another 24 hours. I had nothing planned for the day. This is a regular occurrence to this day and I never find a reason not to try going back to sleep, so I try, oh god do I try (yes that is from a song but which one….which one).  I tried looking at the painting hanging on the wall opposite me, staring long enough could have led to boredom and boredom could have led to tiredness. The painting showed a woman with oddly grey coloured skin wearing a 20s flapper girl type dress that managed to be jet black and sparkling at the same time. She looked incredibly miserable for someone who could apparently afford a dress like that. My theory is that technically she couldn’t afford a dress like that and became bankrupt after buying it, hence the miserableness. There’s something I like about the painting but I don’t want to meet a woman like that in real life, she’d probably be really arrogant. My plan wasn’t working at all, I’d have to try getting up. I showered longer than I should have due to getting lost in a particularly captivating playlist I had on in the background and when dry I blagged my way through getting dressed. The trousers and t shirt I picked looked like they were from totally different universes. If seen like this (which I was) people would think I was pretentiously trying to look alternative, actually I was too lazy to dress properly. ‘Pub?’ I cautiously asked myself, ‘Yeah, go on then’ I replied aloud since no one was in my room (atleast I hope not), talking to myself didn’t look weird.  I walked to the pub expecting to be met with judgemental eyes silently asking “Is he pretentiously trying to look alternative or is he too lazy to dress properly? I don’t know which is worse”. Thankfully that didn’t happen, I ordered a coke, as I always do and pondered the idea of texting a friend and asking them to meet me in a few minutes. During my pondering a classically attractive woman who I’d never expect to see anyone like outside of films sat down in the chair opposite me. “Is it ok if I sit here?” she asked affably. If she’d been an unattractive person I’d have been incredibly cautious about saying yes, it’s an incredibly shallow thing to say but more of us than we care to admit would feel the same. Since she was attractive she barely had chance to finish her request before I accepted it. I don’t know why but one of my first thoughts about her was “If they ever remake Xena warrior Princess I want her to play the lead role”, and if they do remake it they better not ruin the original-what a classic. A conversation between us started and made me forget that I ever intended to text anyone to join me. Her name was Michelle, she understood every pop culture reference I made and vice versa and I connected with her more quickly and more naturally than anyone else I’d met before. I felt like there was a strong mutual attraction there and when I briefly and in my head I initiated a pep talk. I can’t remember the exact nature of my personal pep talk but I remember opening it by telling myself I looked like a scarecrow who’d overdosed on Botox and effectively forcing myself to get Michelle’s number and consider asking her out on a date. I had to go with my instinct on this one, of course I could’ve just used my psychology degree to try and guess if she was showing signs of approval but I never applied that knowledge, still don’t. ‘I’ll be right back’ she said as she stood up before giving me her number and insisting that I call her whenever I got the chance, (she'd beaten me to it) all said with a smile wider than any I could ever make without looking weird. While she was gone I tried to assess the situation, and it seemed like it was all going extremely well.  I sensed the presence of a person swiftly passing me seconds after and looked up to discover she hadn’t returned to her original sitting place opposite me. My eyes almost rotated while I looked around the pub to find her, and then I did: Her flowing waved hair, clothes and demeanour all became visible to me, as for her mouth- I couldn’t tell if that was the same since it seemed to be attached to that of a well-built immaculately groomed male. The two were in the most passionate embrace suitable for a public building. The man who was presumably her boyfriend was clearly more attractive than me, not that it’s hard to be more attractive than someone who resembles a Botox filled scarecrow. The embrace briefly ceased and Michelle turned to my direction, glanced at me for a brief second, turned back to the supposed boyfriend and their lips continued to intertwine. That was it, time typically wasted. I should never have been idiotic enough to assume someone I barely knew would be attracted to me before I even knew about their situation. I left the pub as quickly as I could- that was one place that would be ruined for me for a short amount of time. After leaving the pub I began my walk home, texting a friend to spend time with me was out of the question now, for atleast the rest of the day I had no intention of seeing anyone. I decided to try going back to sleep, if that worked I’d have at least achieved something that day.