Unscheduled Breakdown

Have you ever just been having a completely normal morning or day then one little bad things happen and you have a breakdown? Where every minor thing that happens that day is highlighted and larger details just go ignored. There is a voice in your head screaming, yelling every possible thing wrong with you. Everything hurts just so much all over, and you just have to go into a corner and curl up into a tight ball for protection and cry. Cry so hard your lip starts to quiver. Cry so hard that snot just won't stop coming out of your nose. Cry so hard you can barely catch your breath and you just shake all over. And it all just makes you even more upset because you feel like you can control yourself. But you can't. Then after a while, after you feel the eyes of people walking by, you feel like you can stop. You do. You must. But then a memory, any memory just shows up again, and the process repeats itself. Everyone has gone through this. It's a mess. Because you are. Because everyone is. Yes, it is other people (and animals) that can sometimes make you feel better or worse. But it's only you that can truly let whatever is going on around you affect you or not. To let it all go. It's your choice. You don't really have one to start this whole thing, and you shouldn't try to stop it. But it is your choice to end it, it really is. With just a little bit of help. If only you believed someone could. So until someone can, you have to continue going down the halls. Going down the street. So very broken waiting for someone to catch you because you feel your legs slowly collapsing in on you. You never feel it coming. It just happens. Just like so much else.

-Dedicated to those who know what it's like.