Waited to long

Don't know what's worse”
coming to see the worst
or” being at home .
In the worse’ feeling so alone,
I catch myself’ talking to myself,
If others saw me for sure they'll say, look at that dummy.
always bored. Lonely’
with the face’
like’ he lost something
or’ waiting on something,
And there right” I just wish’ since everyone knows’
that i'm waiting for something’ how long more before they tell me  because im 48’ years old they known me since I was 8,
you would think’  If they new”
But how can they” If I don't know.
So i carry on’
with this conversation
for what seem eternity, but was just twenty minutes” for as long as i walked this walk, know need to check my watch.
But In that time, on that day something just hit me.
I learned Something new,
That this whole time.
It was my parents fault
for letting this happen.
I'm 48 And still don't drive,  mother still leaves my lunch”
in the table every morning”
And I don't” go to school anymore,
it's been decades’ And to top things off,
i take the same freaking road
back and forth that I would take
to school’ 20 something years ago.
And like the road,  unlike me
I look like’ I've aged improperly,
If anything the city workers should or should i say owe me a touch up makeover cuz tax money not fixing’ a damn thing.
So’ im home know, let me explain my layout”  7 bedrooms
3 restrooms’ a kitchen .
and every single room,
seems to tell me’
there's no room ok
eyes now zoom “like lonely doom.
so’ I end up back in my room, feeling Out Of Tune
with the bowl of Frosted Flakes  looking out my broken window to a nasty filthy ugly lake.
Wish seems to take’
every broken frame
and wooden fence
“only creating the towns tense.
so why I'm still here
 not sure’  I think it was
when I was 8 years old”
my parents promise to feel each room with a brother or a sister or just someone new,
but not one to throw a ball to
or two’ to shoot hoops with”
Or one that wears loops.
I'm 48  might have over waited
but was hoping our dreams came true.  maybe ‘I should feel in the rooms myself.
and maybe I will’ but not till I feel this room first,   
but at 48th just maybe I'm a little too late.