"What I already know" By Ben Goode 2017 (c)

The days I have thought of you are countless.
There can be nobody else. For you were perfection.
The time I can never have back with you.
Plays in my mind like a film, that i watch alone in a cinema. 
But I'm not eating popcorn, nor entertained.
I wish I could walk out, but I can't help but remember you.
There is no hand to hold in the cinema, as I crave for romance.
Craving for affection. Completely lonely. In the ridiculous darkness.
The projector jumps from memory to memory.
But not a preview of what's to come. Not anymore.
I find myself crying, and laughing less as I watch on.
But at least I can't be seen. And ridiculed for having feelings.
Because men are meant to be so stoic? 
Restricted by societies expectations. Label's.
Just anger, happiness, and jealousy.
Limited in love. Or is it obsession?
Attraction versus a primordial drive. With no in-between. 
But you knew what I was thinking. 
I had gazed into your eyes. 
Entranced, and I wanted to be.
And I knew I was finally understood. As we had kissed.
There was a contentment like no other.
And that moment has turned into years,
which Father time has taken away. 
Taking his toll. Which cannot be avoided.
Now feeling so old. Unwanted, and very misunderstood.
I wish I could make a new film. One I could live.
But you wouldn't be in it. Never the same.
Nothing but a sequel of unknown actors. 
And unknown success. I guess I'll just keep watching,
What I already know.