To Whom it May Concern- Edit

To Whom It May Concern:

I sit here, at my post, collecting residual data. The expression and pattern showed 7 billion trials prior with one-hundred percent consistency (99.99999% of our trials fail. Our department is useless). Nothing is more frustrating than re-running an experiment for trillions of unnecessary trials, hoping for more productive results. Numbers have a tendency of telling the truth. Less than a Millionth of a percent.....

Our product is successful literally one percent (just give it to me, I mean fuck) of the time. One percent of the time we receive the desired response. However, that is simply two small of a guaranteed window to keep our division of the HSP active. We are all being re-assigned to Project-1 (which boasts a 89% desirable effect already). Basically, the let's take the crayons and color on the wall department (one percent is acceptable there).

Luc and I were once the creators of this entire division. We are the original minds behind HSP. We wanted to test whether or not our creation was morally a success. The first subject, the one most of you call Adam. Was our original brain child.

Adam was ideal (and every so many subjects we are guaranteed another MP (Moral Perfection). Luc is the one most of you call God or the creator, he designed and educated Adam. Adam and Luc’s relationship was a good one, monotonous, but good none the less. Adam did whatever was asked without question, if any of you are thinkers, this isn't exactly a gleaming example of free choice. Free choice is kind of a key ingredient in the Moral pie. The subjects need to choose to do right or the aren't really doing right. This thought will go on to ruin me....

 All I did, was point out the obvious hole in the theory of Adam being morally good. Is it truly a decision to obey when the only opinion about the rules is developed through direct contact with the creator. In short, if you knew god, like personally, are you more or less likely to be "good". If this is the case, is the product "good" or does the product simply obey. I'm losing you....moving on. 

What would happen if we gave completely opposite information to another copy of the HSP would they choose to go against orders and return to “Morally Good” or not? This was the thought I pitched. This was the problem I set for myself to solve.

Would you FUCK'S actually choose to do the right thing. Of course, fucking not. 

Some of them do, in fact, go above and beyond. Surprises even myself from time to time. This infinitesimal percent are the ones you call: Jesus, that one with the M I can’t ever pronounce, and the guy who’s skinny but after enlightenment gets fat, and a small sprinkling of others. I've lost most of you now, back to the topic.

 In short, Luc was right, our version of HSP is at the majority morally good. To say his definition of “morally good” is a loose one, would be to put it mildly.

He sold them on Adam, and Adam alone. My reason for this statement is that we have constantly redefined “morally good” throughout the course of our experiment, we are cooking the fucking books!

 First, if you ate shrimp you immediately went into the “bad” pile. Now, you have to really go out of your way to be “bad” and even with that range we only achieve 51%. I used to sort the subjects those good those bad, eventually I felt dirty. Like a liar or a cheat. In your understanding of the universe I am: the one who fell, the dark one, the snake in the grass or any of those useless names we created give the creator. In mine; I’m simply a scientist searching for the truth. And the truth is, humanity fucking blows, and freedom is the catalyst of all our failure.

The problem with our version of the HSP is the previously requested, now demanded FP (Freedom Protocol) a beta file given directly to us from the on high. He loves his chaotic coding, thinks it makes her and artist. Freedom Protocol, takes all real control out of the experiment. It’s like giving a coked out, chimpanzee a rifle and hoping for the best, because ……. well that’s exactly what it is.

However, even with FP, the arrogant bastard who wrote the original HSP file (Luc) is staying on as head designer and since I am the author of the only problem of the study (the creation of a population rather than a subject), my division is being completely re-hired; because, Who wants to present an accurate study in a corporate setting.

I’m writing this because, while your feelings are about as important to me, as the family life of a pharmaceutical test mouse, they seem to be of concern to some part of my mind.

On second analysis, the bottle of scotch is more likely the cause for this recently developed emotional connection. What’s worse is none of you realize that you’re all the same program run through countless variations and all imaginable moment combinations. But, monkey see monkey do I guess.

I digress, This is a letter of termination for the Human Soul Project (HSP) for all currently active participants and researchers. Researchers are scheduled to work Monday in their new departments. Participating organisms will be broken down and the resources will be dispersed in other areas with a more dire need of exploration.

I report to cockroach survivability Monday, good luck!

Thank You.

G.