Just a bit more clarity..

I have never been one to make wishes. But lately, I have sure been doing a lot of that and praying. Right now I am in a strange place in my life. Things have turned upside down and a lot of things I am still questioning along with the people that are in my life. 

The one person, I really wish I could talk to has been bombarded with things in her life and it doesn't help that I have been falling apart because of my problems. Kinda feel pathetic about all of that. Especially knowing what she is dealing with in her life...

 I also looking to just change jobs and work towards the career that I have been wanting to do for almost 20 years. For so long, I have put that aside because what people expected me to do and to be honest I am quite sick of doing that. For the past month I have been trying to slowly come back from this. 

The only things I wish for is some clarity and an end to the madness I have been going through for the past month. Beginning from my professional life all the way to my personal and love life.  I wish that the woman I love wasn't so difficult because it hurts when she gets that way. But most of all, I just wish that I have a little more clarity. Even when I am told to fight through this and try to hang on...Sometimes it feels like I am on the Titanic and I am about to be sucked into the wreckage. I know that I have people who love me, people who understand me and people who truly have my back no matter where they are. I wish that I did not feel like they are humoring me. After dealing with so many people and flotsam, I just want a bit of REAL clarity so I can get through this storm.