Sorry for this wish.....

I wish I could end this. Without anyone missing me. Suffering their questions, suffering some kind of blame. I wish I had the strength to overcome this urge. I wish I never existed. I wish I was never born. I wish that period of time when I was six never happened. I wish that time when I was fourteen, wanting to end it then, I wish I had just done it. I wish when I met my husband, he had just walked on by, left me alone. I wish that I was whoever I dreamed about being. I wish when my first child was born and I cried please show me you love me, hold my hand, I wish I had grabbed her up and left then. I wish I knew how much I needed to feel loved then, and how important it really was. I wish I Had demanded everything I wanted. I wish I wasn't alone, I wish I wasn't hungry. I wish this life was anything but what it has been.