That's Who I Want To Be

   Are our personality traits hereditary? Are they learned? There are so many questions I have on this subject  because I feel I could be a much better person, or should I say, a person that has it all together? I want to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of who I see looking back. When I get angry and want to scream and shout, I cant. At that time. When I get hurt and feel sad, I want to be able to cry. I can't. At that time. I hold things in, bottle them up... Then, of course, eventually explode with EVERYTHING that has upset me over the past week or so. I know this is not right. I know this is not healthy. I know this is not fair to any person you are in a relationship with. Not just your "significant other",  but your children, your parents, your friends... And then the worst could happen. You could end up alone. So.... My "wish"... Is that as long as I continue praying, and each day try harder to talk out loud about my feelings to the people in my life who mean the most, that I can change from the quiet woman who keeps everything inside and explodes from time to time, probably actually seems crazy to get mad over "something so small". People just don't understand... To a woman who is PROUD of who she is, what she has accomplished in life, can stand up to anyone when she doesn't agree with their opinion, respectfully, of course. And last, but not least, find that happiness she is seeking so that she can let everything go, all mistakes, and start a new life. I will begin working on that today... So I guess I can say "personality" can be learned.... I will be proof.