"The greatest lie of all was you!" By Ben Goode 2017 (c)

I have that conversation in my head with you.
One I wish I had really, one that was true.
I'd want to say what I really feel. But it isn't something that can be real.
Why didn't you say you didn't love me. So that I could really see?
Your lies have been a roadblock in my heart.
I found it clogging up my reasoning. I was just sold out by treason. Selling myself out to love.
I would have rather taken the truth. And it's scar would have healed a lot easier.
I don't know if I can really accept what has happened now. Knowing there is no real future.
There is no possibility. How can anyone really recover from heartbreak that was needless?
I thought that maybe one day, that there would be some sort of hope.
And that i wouldn't be standing in the dunes, watching you marry another. like my dreams predicted.
I wish that I didn't know you. And that I had never had these feelings that were a lie anyway.
I'm an older man with no real love on the horizon. I feel like I'm walking more alone than ever.
I don't want to try again, for fear of being lied to again.
I think I could cope better alone now, than ever before.
If only I could tell you this. Instead of just wishing I could.
I am full of just wishes and dreams. And I've only ever thought of possibilities. 
Didn't that night I was with you mean anything? Anything at all? 
When I kissed you it was like nothing I had ever felt. 
And I wish i could have more. But I couldn't give it.
You didn't really want it anyway. I could sense your reluctance.
Maybe it was a necessary intuition.
I didn't really follow what the universe was screaming out to me.
I had defied all logic seeing you. Perhaps this was fate's way of warning me.
"Don't defy what path you are meant to take, or there will be consequences!" 
And the consequences ring true to this day. I have never been one to stray the path usually.
But when I do I tread on the thorns that are the longest.
The poison of distrust courses through my veins.
I am in an agony, that very few would understand.
And even if they did, they'd be trying to remove their own thorn's.
I wish the lies, would just wash away from my head. 
And that I never knew what I do. The greatest lie of all was you!