Just a Fly on the Wall

        Many days spent in the Cardiac Care Unit, even more visits to the Intensive Care Unit. Watching, waiting, and wondering. Nurses come in; they collect stats, blood & urine. They dispense meds & change I.V.’s, the nurses adjust wires, tubes restraints & fluff pillows. All the while, I am sitting like a fly on the wall. I am watching & waiting.

        The doctors come in, they explain procedures, set up surgeries & leave with a detachment similar to that of robots. And I am watching & waiting, sometimes I ask questions, but I’m just a fly on the wall.

        My mother looks frail, spent & so vulnerable. Technicians come in, they adjust monitors or administer new tests, as I wait. The nurses come in, more stats, more fluffing, more pills, injecting, changing I.V.’s more waiting.

        The days become weeks as I wait. They take Mom into surgery; I am outside. I cannot watch. I can only wait. Trapped in the other room & I cannot leave. The doors open & my mother goes back to her room.

        Now she is more tired, much more spent, & with her chest cracked open like a walnut, she is even more vulnerable. So I wait & I watch like a fly on the wall.

        The nurses come in & out. Hoses, pumps, tubes, wires, restraints, long days waiting. Complications, different doctors, shift change, new nurses, new procedure, new surgery, new monitors. Same old waiting, like a fly on the wall.

        Progress, FINALLY!!! Bright eyes look back at me, recognize me, acknowledge me. A hand squeezes mine. A smile makes me cry. I am still watching & waiting, but no longer just a fly on the wall.