Poem -

The earthbound porcelain Scottish dog

Senryu

Talisman your whole life;
Take it with you when you die.

But you can't, can you?
Ā 

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Comments

author
Rory McGinlay

*dad's lucky dog, given to him
By his Nana in Scotland at the ageĀ 
Of nine. Been with him at least
Every five states in Aussie, PeruĀ 
China, back to Scotland among

Other places I wouldn't know.
Ā 

Reply
author
Shirley Harrison

You have an extra syllable in your first lineĀ 

Now I shall give you some visual ideas, know that it is my pleasure to share my love of Senryu with you Rory. 17 syllables on 3 linesĀ 
5/7/5Ā Ā 

(Yours)Ā 

Talisman your whole life; (6)
Take it with you when you die. (7)
But you can't, can you? (5)

(Mine) ExampleĀ 

Talisman, beloved (5)
when death comes knocking, he stays (7)
he hasn't been called (5)
See how it works?Ā 

Ā 

Reply
author
Rory McGinlay

At least I see that I. I couldn't hear it so I guess I didn't see it.Ā 

Reply
author
Shirley Harrison

I was in a workshop a long time ago to learn, I was taught so much, as it's one of my favourite forms of poem.   emotion being the biggest factor along with syllable count. 🌹 

Reply
author
Marion

You'll always get a vote from me when it comes to animals. Thought it was a real dog first...then I did the maths lol. X

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