I wont leave

We were on an island, created for those who are sick. And he was very, very sick, they weren't sure what was wrong. My poor gold, my once strong and handsome husband now looks frail and hallow, his skin a lightened yellow. Despite all of this, he is still beautiful, and always will be. I asked the doctors if I could take him to the beach outside. They agreed that I should. I wheeled him out on his hospital bed, as he sleeps, and I bring him to the sand. I spoke to him for hours, telling him how much I love him and care for him, and how beautiful he is. That he's going to be okay and I'll be here for him through it all, I wont leave. I will never leave. I sat there with him for a long time, wishing he would open his eyes. I miss his eyes dreadfully, the deep brown liquid gold with chips of black. Their the most beautiful eyes one has ever seen. I see the waves rolling in higher and higher each time, I don't think of it at first. I'm terrified of water, another thing my husband was teaching me, and helping me through. Oh what would I do without him. The waves are getting higher now, slapping the sand like a slippery chicken. My adrenaline is starting to pump through my veins. Is this normal? I wish I knew more about water, I begin to pack my husband up and wheel him back to our quarantine, the waves creeping higher and higher. As I near the building, i turn and see a huge wave, a wall of water, coming directly towards us. I reach the door quickly and pull it open, I yell for help and doctors come rushing in. I try to push him through, as long as I get him in it's okay. As soon as we all get him in the water smacks me in the back, feeing like concrete. I get sent crashing into the wall. The water begins to rise, slowly and slowly, playing with me, knowing I have not mastered it's secrets. Where is everyone? Did they make it? Am I alone? Where's my husband? I feel like I'm drowning, is this what dying is like? I promised him I wouldn't leave, I can't leave, where is he?! 
I wake gasping, wetness clinging to my cheeks and throat, my pillows moist. I must have been crying in my sleep. I wipe my tears off and breath. Its okay, I tell myself, he's okay. I look over and my roommates sitting up staring at me. She asks if I'm okay, I tell her yeah and ask why. She tells me I call his name alot, I ask who pretending I don't know. Let me remind you we must not speak of those on the "outs" here. I wonder how much I do talk in my sleep, and my cheeks begin to burn. Good thing it's dark, she can't see. I apologize and tell her goodnight, she tells me to wait, that I can talk to her, that I can trust her. I tell her I'm sorry but I don't trust anyone, I'm trying to go home. She catches me off guard by saying "to him right?" I pretend not to hear her and go back to bed. In reality I can't sleep, but I've learned to keep my mouth shut here. I squeeze mr. cuddles and silently cry. God I miss him. I promise I wont leave, i miss you.