Memories

I reached over to stroke his cheek, it was cold, but no that couldn't be. I woke with a jolt, realizing he's not here, my gold running thin, the rust returning, chipping, clawing at me, reminding me of where I am. I pick up Mr cuddles, pull myself back in time and dream of his hands caressing my face, his lips brushing my neck, where do it go? It disappeared like a whisp of smoke disturbed. I reached out to grab it, but it was nothing and slipped through my fingers. I'm trying to hang on. I wondered if that was all we were going to be allowed, just those short few months together, it had gone so fast, i wish i had taken more time to appreciate it while It was still there. But then I didn't know he would be ripped away from me again. I rocked back and forth, hugging my knees, I ached thinking I might never get it back. My gold.