Close Shaves and Final Cuts

When they shave me for
the last time,
as they always tend to do ..
Please be sure
that they use my old razor,
or a proper one
and most definitely not one
that has been
borrowed or some electric
whirring thing ..
Oh’ and if by chance they
should fail to
nick my waxy chin, cheeks,
or saggy jowls,
just be sure that, I forgive
you and indeed
everyone absolutely every
single thing ..
But please, make sure that
the guy with
the razor makes a test cut
before applying
any rouge or makeup they
think necessary ..
And should by any chance
I bleed at all
during the above outlined
procedure ..
Then reschedule all planned
celebrations
and go get a decent physician
out to me pronto ..