11 rings of mariage

Don’t get me wrong I could never do it right
Well others it was a beautiful site
11 rings of marriage the good and the bad  
And sad 

First there is the marriage ceremony Then the breakdown and then alimony
That is the beginning and the end You write down the creamy white center so one day you can pretend
None of it  mattered at all You then close your eyes and begin to ball 
11 rings of marriage a total hell someone turn off that dam bell
You didn’t start off bad You met at a bar you took her home to your pad
The Next morning you were still going And she was still moaning Now she was screaming It was only 5 am and your neighbor s began yelling 
Next few month you felt like a king So by your self you went out and picked out some rings
You had some great times when you only wore one shoe You were charge and knew what to do
You then popped the question and the answer was yes and again she screams and you made love to the girl of your dreams
First thing in the morning before dawn out of bed you were kicked So you could take her to the jewelers but she did not like the ones you picked
She went right to the rabbit and began to sing Everybody knows that the engagement ring  is the first ring
1.5 karats made you feel crappy She on the other hand was quite happy
The next Ring starts almost immediately and that’s the order ring
She takes complete charge of the wedding and starts telling  everyone what to do the starts to pick out new bedding
She treats people very mean and  being rude like the bitch from hell She wasn’t  listening to anyone  she's always talking on that cell
There's no more sex the words I'm too busy come out
So you go find a place and pout
Well that's that the wedding ring is the third ring and it is here today You can't wait to say I do and get on the plane so you can go to the hotel and play
In the last 3 months she has been saying that she’s too tired or too busy You say I do and you get on the plane but then you become dizzy 
You get up to use the bathroom then had a sharpe pain  in your belly and u collapse to the floor
You heard your wife scream You were taken to the front of the plane and there was doctor board started say then every thing else was a dream
You wake up the next day at the hospital and your eyes open and you ring a bell And there she is right in front of you still talking on that cell
She sees your eyes open and runs to you and yells oh my dear She kisses you then cries some more you almost died my worst fear
You try to move but you body feels dead and you see your mom and dad they kind of shake their head
My dad said son it was just appendicitis you weren’t going to die Your flight landed in St Louis we were in Chicago to looking at some house we were going to buy 
My dad didn't like my wife He thought that she was a wasted piece of space that did not deserve life
You got better then you finished  your honeymoon Oh boy did you had a great time but wish it was not over soon
You get back home now and you tell yourself everything will get back to normal you think You woke up to  a lot of noises and where is all your furniture and pink
Shit what is  happening what is that smell it stinks All of a sudden your house just shrinks
You just forget about the forth Ring endowering everything she owns comes into your house Your stuff gets thrown away she said this looks nicer your head shakes but she's your spouse
The next few years seem a blur to you the next two rings also go hand-in-hand first there is the laboring you in the garage she comes out yelling stork is coming and you can’t stand
You know the birds the bees and for the next 9 months you’re waiting on her hand and feet She yells at you and screams at you makes you go get pickles and ice cream and pickled meat
Then the day comes when she says her water broke you go nuts you jump in the car and take off leave he behind You do a u turn cops sees you pulls u over gives u a ticket because u didn’t see a sign
As you got your ticket you saw taxi drive by with  your wife as you follow behind  going to the hospital you scream fuck my life
You follow them all the way there you park the car and rush to maternity She is already hooked up to the Monitor and they told you to calm down and sent back to the  waiting room it seemed like an eternity
12 hours later and to stay busy you played  with toys you also wore out 2 pairs of shoes then  you a baby boy 
Then you find out after the birth certificate was signed  that your wife change the baby's name The name is now Edwin T getting tired of this stupid game 
 You look at your wife and she smiles at you and thinks you’re lame. Then your side of the family finally came  
Then the fun begins you show everybody you're still a  king You start to change diapers feed the baby clean the house do everything
Wife just lays in bed says thank you dear you're such a sweetheart hey babe can you also clean that wall You  continue doing this for the next 3 months while your wife does nothing at all
You’re about to say something to your wife when she comes out of the bathroom yelling stork Now you have to do ring 6 and 7 at the same time and you keep giving you a wife a spoon instead a fork
Your wife said the water broke you took her to the hospital in time without even going Zoom Doctor said you had a girl so you stayed inside the delivery room
You're waiting for the paperwork when they kicked you out But you listened to the doctor but you about ready to shout
When they let you back in the name was Penelop8e and you got screwed in the ass but from a different route  just like tine time you found a place to pout
Your wife was smiling at you knowing she did it to you again you stupid clown This is going to stop you're tired of looking like a fool around town
This is part of your marriage and Things become shaky The Ring of empowering this is where you find out if you’re a Lackey
  You either retake control and then you become the boss
You argue and fight about decisions who is in charge she wins your loss
She throws that three letter word out said it will be closed locked up tight she laughed and said you ain't getting any if you think you're right
You put up a strong fight three long days and four nights
You threw in the towel and she said you see dear I knew You See It might Now that was one battle you had to win now she controls how to play
Now it's all downhill from here ring eight badgering otherwise known as nagging You can't do nothing right you can't change the diaper you can't wash dishes and she’s bragging
And the kids here it and they look at you like you’re a fool The children are four and five and they never come to you for questions they always go up to the stool
Ask Mommy never Daddy this continues on for a while You walk around with your head down you never smile
Now that entering ring number nine despairing
You become so depressed so don’t do your work  You sits in big  piles on your desk as you stab you wife with a fork 
 the Boss turns  to you you're fired You don't tell anybody just go to the bar and get wired
While you there at the bar you start talking to lady after a couple weeks Your resolve is broken down and you take her to a hotel but you don't speak
Next number is 10 adultering which leads into the final ring
The Ring of suffering cuz you can live with yourself you told you wife You thought it was bad before it is worse now fuck my life
She won't even let you play with the kid She tells all your friends what do heal you are I like she's taking bids
On when she's going to kick you out the door like you didn't do nothing wrong but you can't take no more
So after a few months of suffering and being treated so poorly it should be called torturing 
You threw in yowel you move out start over She got the lawyer and now your new name is Ben Dover
She got the house thank you count the cars Making you pay all the  lawyer fees she just gone too far
Whoever said blondes was stupid we're dead wrong My ex-wife was right all along I didn’t belong

©poemmaker