4:11am

It’s 4:11 in the morning 
and I’m not tired 

I woke up from a deep sleep just thinking about you 

My heart started racing as my mind tried to keep up 

If only I could forget you but it’s more complicated than that 

It’s 4:11 in the morning and I’m wide awake now 

And all I can think about is all the mistakes I made 

The games we played and how our love went astray GONE

But no matter the pain you have caused me, I just can’t forget you 

Its 4:11 in the morning and I wonder where are you 

I don’t know why since you left me and you’re no longer my problem 

I guess regardless the culprit or victim I still miss you 

Although it seems dumb as you have moved on 

It’s 4:11 in the morning and I’m not yawning, I should be tired 

But I’m not just sitting up thinking about your love 

My body getting all worked up as my mind starts spinning all these thoughts 

My heart pounding against my chest and I’m left knowing I didn’t try my best 

It’s 4:11 in the morning and I want you but I know I can’t have you 

We’re states away not by accident, the space was needed to prevent a relapse 

And although I want you , I don’t need you

You we’re my one, I truly believed until you gave up so easily on you and me 

It’s 4:11 in the morning and I’m done rewinding my feelings for you 

As I know you are home sound asleep, not devoting a minute of lost sleep to thinking about me 

And it’s sad now, I think how ? Could I be so weak and the only answer is .... I really fucking loved you 

But not no more , I’m only human so I got to remind myself 
of the pain you caused me 

it’s 4:11 in the morning and now I’m reminded of all the drama 

Like 2020 spending Christmas all alone , I left my past in Indiana 

I made a life with you in Vermont and as Covid took over I lost my job 

That’s when the tension took us both , but I couldn’t rely on the woman I loved , LOST 

its 4:11 in the morning and my thoughts are calming my heartbroken nerves 

As the feelings remind me that it was you that discarded me 

Like a piece of trash to the sidewalk, or meat to the wolves instead of battling beside me 

You threw salt in our loves wounds and for that you’ll regret it one day 

it’s 4:11 in the morning and I’m going back to bed now 
 

I realized so quickly , you’re not worth the lost sleep that the few good parts of you I remember are nothing compared to the parts that left me 

You gave up so quickly without any fight left to try to overcome the differences we shared 

I just needed a companion to support me but you couldn’t even be a good friend 

It’s 4:11 in the morning and I’m going back to bed , feeling a lot better than I ever did , just thinking about you