98%

98% of you won't read this post. A forsaken narrative of which I am the host. Since by many people that I cared for I was treated like a ghost, this story I'm accounting won't matter to most. Inexplicably I went from having countless footprints at my sides to now walking alone. I'm in a desolate present and future I would have stopped time if only had I known. Unexpectedly, many of my trusted people's true colors were shown. I suppose now I'm a court jester sitting on a kingdomless throne. I'm permanently living with an unmended cardiac muscle in my chest cavity. Feels like I've fallen to my knees with the weight of the world pressing down on me 100 times the force of gravity. A torrential downpour of tears is blocking all my clarity. Even if I'd get up with all the strength I could muster, I'd stand alone.... apparently. Most times I find myself screaming out with sorrow yet nobody can hear me like my vocal cords were severed. I feel surrounded by many wolves in sheep's clothing like a clueless absent-minded shepherd. I don't know if I can overcome this daunting endless endeavor. Was I ever happy, or in love, or full of life? I can't even remember. I do know that my feelings are sporadic and shift like plate tectonics. Every time I think about it, my cerebrum sprouts a pain that's chronic. A pain that seems to block anything that makes sense and I lose my use of logic. I look up to the sky for hope but the sunlight is always blocked by Armageddon's comet. I've tried to look up answers but get lost in life's encyclopedia. I guess I've been "unfollowed" with no comments like my life was some sort of social media...